Life, Love, Sex

I’m Not Blogging

I’m just copying and pasting an e-mail I wrote Jefferson yesterday:

I wanted to jump Derek today in photo class.  I wanted to touch him so freaking badly.

There was a casual brush.  I bumped him slightly by accident when he was next to me and I do as I always do and put my hand on his shoulder as I apologized.

Oh.my.god.

I swear there were sparks.  There had to have been!

I literally wanted to run my hands all over him.  And then after that feel his entire body next to mine.  It was just all about touch and less about him shoving his tongue (or cock) down my throat.

And then, I watched him sign up for Photo 2 next semester.

Yes, that’s right.  I get to oogle over him for another whole semester.

Score!

Did I tell you though- he’s 19.  Nine-fucking-teen.  19!  That’s 2 years younger than me!

That’s just nuts.

My Next Week (2 actually) of Hell

Or why I shouldn’t be writing this post right now.

I took 4 studio art classes and and art history.

What the fuck was I thinking?

And I’m an idiot.  I let myself get behind.  I knew in the back of my head that it was going to pile up right about now.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Here’s the damage:

Art history- 1 paper that is a week late (as of tomorrow).  Going to buckle down and finally do that tonight.

2D design- oh, all of the 2nd half of the semester’s worth of work.  Basically just going to concentrate on the final project which I haven’t started (nor do I have all the supplies for)

Painting- Need at least 3 (preferably 4, though supposed to be 5) mostly done paintings.  Have one started from September.  Threw one together last night.

Adobe class- Way behind on project- need 3 compositions- all about me.  Easy, right?  I just fucking hate Illustrator.  I’ll just end up doing it in Photoshop.  But then I need to do a “book” with InDesign.

Photography- Where all my enegry has been put this semester.  One would think I’d be ahead of the game here, right?  Well, maybe if I weren’t so concerned with perfection here.  I spent 11pm-4am Saturday in the darkroom (well, including clean-up) and worked another 4ish hours yesterday and basically only got 2 prints (I also developed film), but after doing some editing with my friend, I decided to go in a slightly different direction, so even though I have other prints that I did, I won’t be using them.  And then others that I did I’m going to redo to crop a bit.  And just other shit.

So, yeah.  This is why I’m really not socalizing for the next 2 weeks.

As it is I think I’m going to dig into my stash of uppers which I’m hoping will send me into a manic state of creativity as has happened in the past.  (True story, once I took this medicine in a high-ish dose after missing it for a few days and I didn’t sleep for a day and spent about 18 hours in the ceramics studio without eating.  Yeah.  That’s what I need right now.)

So, if you see a post from me after this, yell at me, ok?  Until like, Dec 15th, really.

And I promise next semester I won’t do this again!  (But I only have 2 studios in the Spring at least.)

Busy, Busy, Busy

So, I definitely didn’t study enough for my art history mid-term today…but I think I did ok, actually.  I forgot some titles (especially of Egyptian works, hence the video…) but I think I may have managed a C.  That’d be awesome.

I’m busy, busy, busy until Sunday night- doing lots of perverted things!  Hehe!

And, I’m feeling better- like 90% (10% remains because of my slight stress about getting my photography project done on time).

Ok, kiddies, updates and stories to come soon enough!

Fallen

I’ve fallen in love.

I’m borderline obsessed.

I want to spend every free moment with my new love.

I want to learn everything there is to know about this wonderful new obsession.

Nothing else matters anymore.

Everything else I once cared about just bores me now.

It’s only been a month, but man, I’ve fallen hard.

Photography.

I’ve fallen in love with photography.  I itch to be in the dark room.  I ache to snap shots everywhere I go.  I’m just completely insatiable.

We’ve only been given 2 assignments so far, and I’ve already shot 8 rolls.

I’ve printed dozens of prints already, just this week actually.  Only 6 are worth turning in.  One I want to reprint because I noticed a smudge.  Another I may toss aside because I’m not such a fan anymore.  We’ll see.  Time depending.

As a Photo 1 student, I’m relegated to Open Lab hours, where as advanced students have access 24/7.  Lucky bastards.

But then again, as a Photo 1 student, I really know nothing.   And it’s a bit frustrating.  I’m trying to absorb as much as I can.  Trying to figure out what to look for in my photos when developing to determine for myself when to add seconds or go up or down in filter.  I may be getting the hang of it.  My last print of the day, I made perfect in just 2 prints (save for the smudge).

That was pretty exciting.

Fuck painting.  Fuck graphic design.

I just want to photograph!

I Can’t Make This Stuff Up!!

“Great, it’s 1AM. I wanted to be asleep an hour ago!” Noelle says as we’re getting ready to sleep last night.
“And who’s fault is that?”
“Yours…”
“Hey, I didn’t come up until 12:30!”
“And now it’s 1:10.”
“And then I took a shower, you could have gone to sleep at any point.”
“Shhh…stop talking you’re prolongating my sleep.”

I pause, replaying the last sentence in my head…prolong…what?

“What did you just say??”
“Crap, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice!”
“Did you just say prolongating??”
“Maybe.”
“Wow, you’re seriously dyslexic, Noelle.”

God we laughed so hard there were tears. Many, many tears.

I’m so glad we’re roommates now.

That and smothering her face with my boobies this morning. Ahhh….

Yay Painting!

So I just got back from my first painting class- and it was pretty cool. Well, we didn’t do anything yet, but he just talked to us about things to get and what to expect from the class. The teacher seems really cool. Real easy going, jokes a lot.

And a bunch of my friends from my ceramics classes are in the class with me too! Yay! I did miss my ceramics friends.

Our first assignment is a landscape. I think for my reference I’m going to try and find something from The Americans in Paris book I got (from the exhibit at the Met). It should be here Friday, so I’ll see if I can find something I like.

And, I actually think I’m going to try out oils. I’m not always getting the results I want from acrylics. Acrylics are flat, and sometimes that’s good, other times I hate it. Adding gel medium helps beef the paint up of course. But I definitely want to try oils. The teacher even said I can use both if I wanted.

I’m off to my drawing class in a few minutes, I hope the teacher is good here. And maybe more people I know are in that class too! That’d be awesome.

So far this looks like it’s gonna be a good semester! Finally!

Horoscope

This was in my horoscope today: Sometimes quitting is just understanding your capabilities and acting accordingly.

I thought it was so appropriate after deciding to withdraw from classes for the semester.

I’ve never been good at school. Doing homework and studying was always the biggest chore, and often times just didn’t get done. And it’s been this way since I was in 1st grade.

I don’t know what possessed me to take classes that required 200-300 pages of reading a week!

And then my depression hit, and I knew I was in for trouble.

So, after much consideration, talking, and even crying, I decided it was best to drop 3 of my 4 classes.

All I’m left with is my art history class, the only one I haven’t fallen behind in.

So now I have all this free time. I’m not sure how exactly I’ll fill it all. I can spend so much time on my art now. And I’m thinking of taking up knitting or crocheting to make my Christmas presents. Maybe I can have some more sex too. Cause once a week isn’t quite enough.

FIRE!!

So I went to the market last night and decided to treat myself to a nice piece of steak for tonight.

After class tonight, I came home and turned on the broiler and prepared my steak. I had no spices so I just rubbed it with olive oil. Perhaps my big mistake.

I popped some premade mashed potatoes in the microwave and started cleaning a dish in the sink. As I was washing, I heard cracking coming from the stove and saw flames coming through the burners!!

I dropped my dish and dried my hands and quickly turned off the stove. I opened the door to check it and flames shot up. I freaked and ran for the fire extinguisher, screaming to my roommates the kitchen was on fire.

I struggled with the pin and hose and freaked, but eventually got it.

I gave a quick squirt in the sink, since I had never used one before, and got one of my roommates to open the oven door as I blasted it.

The apartment was filled with smoke and fire extinguisher exhaust and the 4 of us worked hard to fan it out the window with pillows.

I choked and coughed from the smoke and stuck my head out the window to get fresh air.

One roommate called the RA who then called the cops, and the 4 of us made our way outside to get away from the smoke.

Police cars came blaring down the street and into the apartment complex and policemen ran upstairs with fire extinguishers.

Soon followed THREE fire trucks barreling down the road with their sirens and went inside to investigate.

We gave our names and information to the police and fire department and told the story to all the important people that asked.

I learned that the fire probably would have gone out on it’s own once I turned the broiler out, but I did a good job even so. Yay.

I was sooooo mortified though. I kept apologizing to my roommates and I almost cried when everyone from all the other apartments came out to watch us!

And it was really scary too!! I’d never put out a fire before and I was shaking!!

Oh it was so awful!

And of course my steak got ruined. And meat’s expensive!! That was such a treat!

*Sigh*

I’m still hungry too.

Holy Fuck

So I have this Lit class- American Renaissance Literature, and the assignment this week was to read three Emerson essays, including “The Trancendentalist” and then write a one page paper on what we think transcendentalism means and only using that as a source.

I just finished reading it, and it took me almost 2 hours with only a few breaks here and there.

And I don’t have a clue what it means.

I still have 5 more pages of “Self-Reliance” to read.

Don’t know what any of that means either.

And then I still have to read “The American Scholar.”

All by tomorrow night’s class.

And then once that’s all done, I’ll have to immediately start on my three Hawthorne stories. And also start “The Scarlet Letter.”

So you can see why it’s becoming very difficult for me to write my stories. I add some sentences here and there when I can to my current story, but it’s tough now.

And this is only one class!

Then, not to mention my allergies are killing me and my head and nose are all stuffed up and I feel lousy!

This bites.

I don’t think I’m going to like this class.