Life, Love, Sex

Floating World!

Eek- registration prices for Floating World go up tomorrow!

Register tonight for cheap $125 for members of a kink organization, $150 for non-members!

I just registered after remembering that.

Sign up and come!  It’s a fun event!

(And with some luck, I’ll hopefully be teaching a class even!  Wee!)

One of the hottest things said to me, ever

Adam: I want to so thoroughly hurt your body and abuse your mind that you burst into tears and sob and shudder and cry in a puddle at my feet

Brought to Tears

Adam: Do you want to cum?
Avah: Yes sir.
Adam: Why don’t you? Why not just disobey me an cum if you want it? Why do you hold back?

He asked me this Tuesday morning as we chatted online together.

Monday afternoon he had told me I wasn’t to cum until our date Tuesday night. Now, normally this isn’t too big of a deal- I can go a day or two without cumming; easily. Especially these last few months where my libido has been significantly less than usual. Except in basically the past week, it kind of kicked into overdrive. Thus making it harder for me.

And Adam didn’t just tell me not to cum and just leave it alone. No, of course not! He had to tease me and work me up into a horny frenzy. Monday he tortured me with words of how he was going to hold me down by my throat and fuck me; beat me; have me call him sir all night; use me as nothing but a fuck toy- rape me. Needless to say, I was sopping wet and humping my chair by the end of the night. And I still had almost a whole day to wait.

Tuesday morning it got worse- he had me stuff dildos in my pussy and ass and that almost pushed me over the edge. I almost didn’t think I could do it. I was so worked up and so close to cumming, all I would have needed were 30 seconds with my Hitachi. But before I could even give it a second thought Adam had me remove the dildos, once again denying me permission to cum.

So why did I obey?

In earlier years, I would have balked at someone trying to control me (even if it was something I wanted deep down). I either would have never agreed to such conditions or I would have just done as I wished and lied about it. But I’ve grown in the years I’ve been exploring BDSM and my submission.

I’ve learned now that it’s just plain more fun to do as I’m told. It’s entirely more satisfying to be obedient and submissive. Though it’s still so new for me actually. Adam and I agreed that our second date would be much more about my mental submission. I was to call him sir (I like using honorifics, though I draw the line calling someone master if they’re not my master); I was to arrive in lingerie he approved of, a dress, and heels; and my eyes were to be kept downcast that night.

Luckily for me though, I didn’t have to wait until later that night to get off. I had nothing else planned for the rest of the day, so Adam had me come over earlier.

And let me just say ahead of time, never underestimate the hotness of being fucked while still wearing lingerie and heels.

When I got to Adam’s, I immediately stripped out of my dress and kneeled at his feet, offering myself to him, as I was instructed. He pulled out his cock and I started sucking on it briefly before he grabbed me by the hair and pushed me onto the bed face down. My underwear was pulled off and my ass slapped hard a few times before Adam turned me on my back and plunged his fingers into my cunt. I groaned as he hit my g-spot and quickly got me off.

The next few hours went by in a blur. All I remember is a frenzy of sensations- Adam’s hands almost always in my hair or wrapped around my throat. His fingers would pull at the lacey fabric covering my tits and his mouth sought my flesh biting down hard again and again as I screamed and whimpered. I remember him fucking me from behind, my face pushed into the mattress as he held my wrists behind me.

Again- fucking while still wearing some underwear and heels= so.fucking.hot.

It seemed like either his cock or fingers were constantly in my cunt and his teeth biting some piece of exposed flesh.

His words circled my head as he either made me cum or cry out in pain- dirty whore, slut, fuck toy, his to use, hurt and fuck. I was very quickly put into gooey subspace.

At one point he told me to look at him and he spit in my face as he grabbed the sensitive skin on the inside of my thighs. I whimpered and obeyed as he barked at me to keep my legs open.

Then there were the quiet moments with my mouth wrapped around Adam’s cock as he worked at his lap top with the news of the Pope’s landing in the background and being put to some service making the beds and putting dishes in the dishwasher.

Eventually his fiancée, Emma, returned home from work. She was barely in the door before Adam told us to start making out. I think I’ve yet to kiss a girl that wasn’t a good kisser. He then instructed her to finger me as I sucked on his cock. He pinched my nipples hard and I moaned around him. After a little bit he pulled out and started to finger fuck Emma and ordering her to cum. He switched us around a bit and positioned me to be fucked as I ate Emma out. His hands dug into my flesh as he came. I was turned over as the condom was emptied on my face.

“Lick the condom,” he ordered me

I whimpered.

“Stick your tongue out and lick it like the dirty whore you are.”

I obeyed and licked the remaining drops of his cum.

When he was satisfied he told me to go wash up as I was wiping cum from my eyes.

We spent the next while ordering dinner and watching the Mets game. Emma tied me up in a chest harness type fashion and I sat on the floor at Adam’s feet to eat.

“Who are the starting pitchers?”
“Santana, Pelfrey, Perez, Vargas, and Maine,” I responded without a skip. “Wow!” I exclaimed, amazed how I just did that.
“Good girl, I’m training you to think like a submissive. Who’s the best pitcher?”

Crap, I didn’t look at the stats.

“Santana?” I guessed.
“Good girl. Who’s the worst?”
“Um, Pelfrey?”

I really had no idea.

“Who are the 2 new ones?”
“Uh…Perez and Pelfrey? No, wait, Vargas and Perez?”

He sighed and ignored me.

Part way through the game he quizzed me, “Who was Milledge traded for?”
“Shoot, um, Schneider and um…?”
“Think religious,” he said, wrapping his hand in my hair.
“Jesus?”
“Church. Pay better attention slut.”
“Yes sir.’

After dinner I cleared the dishes and wiped down the table then Adam told Emma to attach me to the cross in their bedroom. Emma wrapped a chain around my waist keeping me up against the cross and another chain attached to my rope harness for good measure. Adam came in shortly after and everything after just becomes a blur- I remember a lot of pain. Lol.

Adam had Emma attach clothes pins to my labia and oh God ouch. He told her to try to attach one to my clit or jewelry even. I whimpered in protest, but was ignored. She eventually found my clit though making me holler and dance.

“Ahh! Yellowredgahhhh!!” I screamed in the 2 seconds it was attached before being quickly removed.
“Do you need to be untied?” Adam asked me since I did slip a “red” in there. I’m still amazed my brain was even able to process safewords.

I shook my head no.

After that I danced uncomfortably as I lived with the pinching sensation between my legs as Adam wailed on me and Emma with fists, floggers, and other beating implements.

I continued to complain about the clothes pins and he told me he’d take them off if I asked him to do it with a whip.

I resisted at first.

He teased that they would go watch the Mets game then. I whimpered, just wanting the clothes pins off. I finally gave in and asked for him to take the clothes pins off with the whip.

But fuck I was scared. I was turned around and my hands were chained up because I kept trying to cover my breasts as he flicked the dragon’s tail at them. I screamed as he caught a good hard lick on my chest. He moved on, more interested in my pussy anyways. He landed his first blow higher up, on my mound and I screamed, trying to buckle over, but not being able to go far because of the bondage.

“Sweet Jesus!”

“What’s that slut?” he asked as he came over to comfort me. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I tried to recover. “Are you seeing Jesus? Should we baptize you? Are you wanting to accept Jesus the Savior into your heart?” he teased me.

I shook my head no. What I wanted was for him to not flick that whip near my girly parts again.

“Spread your fucking legs,” he told me as he walked back away.

I stalled at first, shaking.

“Spread them you fucking slut!”

I reluctantly obeyed and tensed up as I waited for the next strike.

He aimed right for my pussy and the tail struck hard, knocking a few pins off. I screamed and started to cry from the intensity of the pain. I shook my head violently crying that I couldn’t when he wanted to do it again.

“Aww look, we made her cry,” he chided me as he came over. His one hand went to my hair as his other pulled the rest of the clothes pins off. My lower lip trembled as I kept a sob locked in the back of my throat. “But she’s holding it back,” he noticed. He slapped my face hard a few times and I started to let the tears go a little, but ultimately keeping it bottled up. I was too embarrassed to weep there tied to the cross as they both watched me.

Our play wound down as he undid me from the cross and had Emma and I get on the bed as he fucked us both to end the night. The rest of the evening was spent cuddled up watching TV quietly before I headed back home.

Hodgepodge

I’m having lunch with my father today.  It’ll be the first time I’m seeing him since Christmas ‘06- and we’ve been basically estranged since Sep. ‘06.  We’ve only spoken on the phone a few times when I’ve had to call him about insurance stuff.  The lunch will be fine.  We’ll be polite and cordial.  It’s just going to feel weird having him back in my life.  And I really don’t actually want to hash anything out.  Like, ever.  I pretty much just want to keep him at arms length.  That will be best I think.  The question is now- to show the tattoo, or not to show the tattoo?  Is a nose ring and a tattoo too much in one day?  Lol.

Last night I went to the DSF meeting at Paddles with Jocasta and Zelda.  Lolita was teaching on poly.  She sure does have a lot of great stories to tell!  While sitting through the class, I came up with this pondering- Would I have persued poly if I hadn’t met Jefferson?

And, to also consider- is this how I want to continue?  Obviously my situation frustrates me because even though I care very much for the people in my life, it’s just filled with play partners when we all know I really want a partnership.  A “primary,” if you will.  So will finding a primary partner alleviate my frustration or is poly potentially just not for me in actuality?  Or do I only care because it’s that time of the month and this is generally the only time I really get frustrated about this stuff?

We’re just gonna mull over those ideas for a bit.

After the meeting, while Jocasta was getting her birthday spanking from Lolita, Boymeat showed up and I some how became a punching bag, being volleyed between Boymeat’s fist and Jocasta’s X’s foot.  Then Lolita joined in and I felt like a pinball bouncing around in a game!  And then I started crying.  I was already feeling emotional, and then being hit will really just bring it to the surface.  Not exactly the right time or place, for me, to do that.  But it made me think that a “frustration scene” could be really cathartic for me at this moment in time.

OK, I think that’s all for now.

By the way, Ow

I went to a tea party yesterday.

Managed to walk out with bruises on either arm.

That’ll teach me to sit within arms reach of Boymeat.

6-8 Weeks

I just bought my first single tail- a snake whip from Victor Tella. It’s a 4′ 12-plait whip and I ordered it in brown and red.

I’m so excited! I just wish I didn’t have to wait so long! But I chose this whip maker since I could make it more customized which I’ll be happier for in the long run.

Desire already volunteered to let me practice on her! Maybe with a little bit of luck and wishing, I could have it by her birthday in early May (the cusp of 6 weeks away)!

Oh man I can’t wait to start practicing!!

Yummy

So last night I went out with Jocasta and Zelda to the DSF (Dom Sub Friends) meeting on Single Tails, taught by Dov.  Very awesome class.  I thought Dov did a great job of it.

Then after the class Zelda let Jo and me practice on her with her whips which was awesome.  I really started to get the hang of it (though my God there’s so little room in Paddles to throw!) and it was a lot of fun!  My arm got tired fairly quickly though.  I guess it’s a movement I have to get used to?

Now I want my own whip and someone to hit, lol.   Any volunteers???