Life, Love, Sex

Blindfold (unfinished)

In hindsight, I think I would have preferred not to be blindfolded. I think for the scene we did, it was perhaps not even needed.  And I would have like to have been able to see him to connect better.

It was Sunday night of Shibaricon and Jefferson and I were finally playing in the dungeon. Part of me was nervous about it- for a few reasons. The one being we really hadn’t played together in over a year. There was once or twice when Jefferson got the cane out, but it was all light and not in the least be intense. So I really didn’t know how I’d react to that dynamic between us again. I was also nervous because I was uncertain of our energy and relationship those days. Things had already been feeling off since the winter when I started acting out against D. and we began fighting about it. Not to mention that only a few days before leaving for Chicago, I had come to the realization there was very little left to our relationship and I no longer wanted to continue it after the trip.

So, yeah, add all that up and then let Jefferson tie me up and hit me was a wee-bit nerve wracking.

I was wearing my pretty new corset that evening and it actually put me more in a mood to play. Jefferson and I didn’t get to the dungeon until later in the night because we had enjoyed a long visit with a long time reader from the area, Mariel. Once down in the dungeon, we found Zelda and Jocasta already playing and we made a quick pit stop for Jefferson to finger Jo for a little bit.

After that, we started to hunt for a place to do our scene. A lot of the furniture was being used, but we found one area with a funky post so that the person bends forward when tied to it.

Jocasta ended up doing a majority of the tying, but Jefferson was there watching. Hopefully learning. I was tied in my corset with my waist attached to a post that was angled at about 45 degrees, my hands tied behind my back, and my ankles tethered to the bottom post. The blindfold was put on last. And Jefferson and I were left alone to do our own thing.

He started with a kiss.

And with that, I felt safe enough to let go with him one last time.

With 2 canes borrowed from Jocasta, he started warming up the front of my thighs with light quick taps.

I was quickly lulled into that floaty head space as Jefferson alternated between striking my thighs and gently caressing them.

[Note: I’m posting this unfinished because it’s in my drafts, but I don’t know that I’ll ever finish it.  So I’m just putting it up.]

What I learned for next time

I think the one thing I learned from this party was to not make so much food!

I should keep dinner parties and orgies separate I think.

Next time I’ll be inviting more people. I kept the guest list fairly small for the first time. I invited my closest friends- you know, the ones that love me enough to give me a 2nd chance had this party bombed. But it went so well! And everyone said they had a good time! And yes, they loved all the food.

I was so Susie Homemaker it was insane. The house was immaculate when people arrived and I had dinner all prepped and ready to go. The veggies were cut and put on cute fish platters (it’s a shore house!). The keilbasa was cut and ready to go in the oven. The corn was husked and the water in the pot ready to be boiled. Hamburgers formed and ready to be grilled!

All I needed were the people!

Match and Prince arrived first from DC and we hung out and chatted for awhile while we waited on the others.

But the others didn’t come for awhile.

Adam called and said he had a flat on the parkway, just a few exits from me. So he, Emma (his fiancée), and Rachel (his girlfriend) would be a little bit.

And then I called Jefferson who was driving down with Callie and her boyfriend and they were lost, but in the town, so not far. So they would be there soon as well.

Jocasta and Zelda weren’t coming until around 9.

That’s ok. I wasn’t on schedule, but I could adapt. I’m flexible.

(Insert minor anxiety attack).

Eventually everyone came around 8:30 and I immediately started to put dinner up. I banished Jefferson to the grill (in the 90 heat, yes) as I set the table and got everyone drinks.

I had a lovely spread on the table and it wasn’t long before we sat down for a fun dinner. I took the head of the table, which I never do, but felt it was my place as the hostess. Someone called for a toast, but I don’t have much experience, so Adam led a lovely toast to me for having everyone over for a great night.

To me! Cheers

Of course as soon as we started eating Jocasta and Zelda arrived so I hurried to get them plates and chairs.

When dinner was finished I managed to clear the table in record time (shhh, don’t tell my mom). Though I had plenty of help (as much as I protested!).

Then it was play time! I changed into my corset as the party started getting rolling.

Zelda had brought some of her dungeon furniture so we mused over where to set it all up. The massage table ended up in the kitchen, the double cross near the side door, and the suspension rig in the living room.

Jo tied me up to begin the night with. She wanted to practice what she’d do this week for a photo shoot we’ll be doing together. My 1st time in front of a camera! Though, as a photographer, I’m totally geeking over the fact it’s going to be an 8×10 camera the photographer is using!

The tie was cool, though she tried to get up on one foot and that just wasn’t happening. She wrapped rope around my eyes as well as part of it (per the photographer), but I couldn’t see so I had her undo it so I could check out the rope job in the mirror.

Match started having his fun when Zelda asked him to pierce her.

Callie was happy cumming and being spanked at the hand of her boy, Zach.

Rachel was busy being hit on by Jefferson.

Everyone was having fun and I was so happy for that.

But damn if I wasn’t pooped already! I hadn’t gotten much sleep Friday night and woke up semi-early on Saturday to do last minute cleaning. I vacuumed, mopped, chopped, washed dishes, washed counters and repeated both a few times. I made beds, threw random things in closets, ran last minute food shopping, and waited anxiously for everyone to arrive. On time.

It occurred to me as I was cleaning up from dinner (and washing dishes yet again) that once everyone left, I’d have to clean yet again. D’oh! Though not quite as much thankfully.

Eventually it got late. You know, like 3am. Jo and Zelda had already packed up and headed home (Zelda can’t sleep in a strange place), Prince already fell asleep out on the porch (he liked the warm weather) so I started tucking people into beds.

Match was a help, making sure everyone was comfortable with everything they needed. When everyone was settled he and I retired to my room. We settled in bed and he cuddled into me and apologized for neglecting to really touch me all night as it wasn’t his intention. I assured him it was fine as I went down on his cock. I assured him it was really fine as he made me cum 5 or 6 times that night before we fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up, mostly because I heard stirring about and knew that if people were up, I’d need to start on breakfast.

I cleaned up a few dishes from the night before before starting the water for the potatoes and slicing up the watermelon. I had plans to make home fries from scratch (which, by the way I’d never made before). As the potatoes boiled I started cooking the peppers and onions which my sous-chef Zach had offered to chop (I won’t turn down someone’s offer to chop the onion!). Once the potatoes were in the pan, I put Jefferson on bacon duty. Once the potatoes were done I did the eggs. I’m telling you- Susie Homemaker!

The icing on the cake was the danish I had gotten that I was raving about all night and morning.

We had another lovely meal and cleaned up minimally before heading to the beach! In a heat wave!!

It was fun though. Callie’s going to be bummed she missed out I think. She and Zach had to leave with Jefferson because he had “work” to do.

Everyone went in the water, like all the way. Except me. Because I’m not crazy. Water was COLD! Except it was so hot, I did have to put my feet in to cool off a bit.

Eventually it was time to go as Match and Prince needed to head on the road.

So all and all it was a great party.

Not in the Cards

First off, in response to how I’m titling this- what a fucking asshole.

I’m debating whether or not to tell the whole story behind that- I don’t want to be dramatic. But let’s just say there are some real insensitive fucks out there.

Before I go off on a rant about how awful the past 4 days have been, I’m going to start with the positives.

I got to go down to DC Thursday night and spend the night with Desire.

My (relatively) new friend Tilda helped me out in a jam and let me stay in her room when I lost mine (though I felt bad she didn’t get the space I knew she wanted). And Match helped calm me down and see my options.

Jocasta tied me up and Zelda flogged me.

Desire and I had an awesome candy scene in the dungeon.

Match had a kick ass orgy in his room.

And I went to some cool classes.

So even though I’m going to trash the weekend and label it essentially a failure, I’m not discounting the good stuff at all.

First rant: apparently pink eye is the new plague.

I realize it’s generally considered pretty contagious- and it’s kind of ewy and gooey, but Christ- it’s just pink eye. You take some eye drops and it’s gone in 3 or 4 days. And gee, if you don’t touch your eye and make sure you wash your hands constantly it’s fairly unlikely you’ll spread it to other people.

Ok, so the story goes I was supposed to room with this woman I didn’t know, but somehow (and I know how) she heard (as did half the fucking attendees) I woke up with pink eye and had someone (she couldn’t have this discussion with me for some reason) call me and tell me she didn’t want to room with me anymore because I had pink eye.

I wasn’t aware we’d be sharing eye liner (we certainly weren’t going to be sharing spit). I thought we’d just be sharing a room (where’d I’d have my own bed).

(And mind you I actually only ended up forcing myself to DC because I thought I had a commitment to my roommate to share the room. Silly me being considerate.)

Of course I heard this at 2pm on Friday afternoon just as I was parking my car and heading over to register. So I freaked. They were offering me the room (she would go somewhere else) but I didn’t know how I’d be able to find someone to split the cost of the room with me on such short notice and I didn’t think I could really afford it on my own.

So I went to registration and just after I walked in, Match followed, and thank God. I ran over to hug him and as he was asking how I was I burst into tears about my room (mind you I had already spent Thursday morning crying over the nasty exchange I’d had, which I will get to a some point). He helped calm me down a bit and then after we checked in, we went to his room and he helped me see my options and make a decision.

I realized that I could afford 2 nights at the hotel on my own, it was only an extra $60 or so. Once I came to that conclusion I called the people back to let them know I would take the room on my own. It went to voice mail though. But no biggie. I just told them to call me when they arrived so we could put the room on my credit card.

So while I was waiting for them, I went to Rita Seagrave’s Domination for Non-alphas. Let me just plug that for a moment- very fun class. And if you’re not familiar with Rita, let me just gush about how freaking hot she is. I already have a thing for red headed girls. But the whole class I couldn’t stop staring at her ass, lol. And when she’d sit on the table her skirt would ride up a little bit and the tops of her stocking would show. *Groan* Plus I just really like her presence. She’d come near by to hear someone’s question and it was just a nice vibe having her in the vicinity. So yeah.

Ok then, back to the rant. At the tail end of class, the people called me, but I let it go to voice mail since there were only 5 more minutes left.

When I heard the message in a few minutes I learned that they had given my room away because they thought I hadn’t gotten back to them. I dropped the phone and started crying again. Because here I was in DC without a room.

Jocasta took over for me and found Tilda and asked if I could room with her since she was by herself and thankfully she said yes.

Meanwhile I listened to the end of the message.

What a fucking fuck tard. I don’t even know who the person was, but what a serious asshole. Apparently having a place to stay just “wasn’t in the cards” and that being contagious wasn’t fair to everyone else.

All this just after telling me I no longer had a place to stay.

Man they were fucking lucky I’m actually a very non-confrontational person. As much as I bitch and moan here, the meanest thing I’ll do to someone in person is just give them the evil eye. And you best believe I gave that woman the evil eye every time I saw her.

After that whole ordeal I headed straight to the bar and sucked down 2 gin and tonics. I don’t usually turning to substances to relieve problems, but it was really the only way to save the night. Alcohol makes me happy. I mean that it makes me giggly and silly, so yeah, it helped. It was also fun sitting with Lynsey and Tilda and make up a funny story about this sullen looking family sitting in the lobby.

We surmised the daughter found the father’s porn (gay porn actually) and the mother just found out.

Thankfully the rest of Friday went well. A good time was had by all in the dungeon and it was a fairly early night, heading to bed at 1.

Saturday was good during the day.  Went to some classes which I think I’ll talk about briefly.  I enjoyed another one of Sarah Sloane’s classes.  I went to a class on humiliation at summer camp and this time I went to her Driven to Tears: Playing on the Edge class.  It was a lot to do with like cathartic play or ordeal path.  Damn if I didn’t start jonesing for a cathartic play scene.  Still am.  And I will probably ask for one soon, but I think first I need to do some processing on my own.

After that I went to Barbara Carellas’s Erotic Breathwork class which I had really been looking forward to because I had wanted to go when she did it a CV in the fall, but I ended up being late and couldn’t go because of certain things going wrong.  Unfortunately it wasn’t a good weekend for me- I was just too blocked.  So it didn’t have an effect on me, but I’ll file away what I learned and hopefully can put it to use in the future.

After we had a nice lunch with Me, Jocasta, Desire, and Prince (a super great guy I met at camp) and a fun sitz bath social too back at my room (long story I’ll tell if I’m told it’s ok).   I also got to buzz Desire’s hair into a mohawk- which looks super cute and she decided it’s subtle enough she can probably get away with it at work so she’ll keep it!

I missed the petting zoo because I went to the last class of the day, Dossie Easton’s Bottomless Pits: Topping serious pain sluts.  What a great class.  I’d never heard Dossie speak before, but wow, what a great presenter.  I’m definitely going to make a point to attend more of her classes in the future.  Poor Jocasta was exhausted and fell asleep a bit (even snoring a little, lol).

I started jonesing again this time for a heavy intense scene.  I consider myself somewhat of a bottomless pit (though some days there is a bottom), but I’ve never really had the opportunity to really test my endurance.  Dossie mentioned a relay scene (meaning there were a few tops there) that lasted for over 7 hours!  7 hours of being beat up.  That’s for sure the forever place she mentions.  Someday I’ll have to plan a huge block of time where I can try going there (maybe not 7 hours, but a couple hours at least).

Then demoed on Barbara caning her and spanking her.  Turns out I’m not the only one who laughs when they’re getting hit!  It was a really fun scene to watch though.  But man if I didn’t want a serious beating myself.

I was exhausted at that point and retreated to my room to try and nap so I could function better that evening.  I sort of slept- for a few minutes.   But I ended up getting hysterical again.  Exhaustion pushes me over the edge very easily.

Here I’m going to get very raw and very honest- the one thing people constantly praise my blog for.

I was in an intense amount of emotional agony.  The distress from Thursday and Friday just bubbled up and I couldn’t push it aside.  I started crying and as I started to cry harder I told myself that it was ok to cry and that I should just let it out and then I would feel better.  Except I wasn’t really feeing better.  I just kept crying.  And I was getting more and more anxious.  I couldn’t sit still and started to walk around the room, needing to do something with myself.

I wanted to cut.  I wanted to see my blood- I knew that would help calm and sedate me.  But I didn’t have any razors and I’m very particular about how I cut.  Plus, I mean, I didn’t really want to resort to that in the middle of Winter Fire.

So I grabbed for the next best thing- my left over Percocets.  I broke it in half (after a classmate mentioned this) so it would hit me faster.  And I swallowed my tears and let myself be numb.

Being numb isn’t good, but sometimes you need to do it for a little bit to just function.

At this point most people were at the banquet and a bunch of the sex bloggers that didn’t go to the banquet went out for Chinese, but I knew Match wasn’t at either so I texted him to see what he was up to.  He was about to grab a bite with 2 of his female friends and invited me.  Finally calmed down, I dressed and went to be social.

I’d go nuts if I stayed in that room any longer.

We just grabbed a bite at the hotel restaurant, but it was fun.  I like the 2 girls so it’s good.  The one also brought a cute little submissive boy who was actually kinda cool.  One of the coolest 19 year old boys I’ve been around in a long time.

Desire met me in Match’s room after she got out of the banquet and we grabbed our candy to do our scene.

We found a nice open space in the dungeon and I laid down one of those mess pads so we didn’t get candy all in the rug.  We went all out for this.  We’d thought of everything.  We had a candy necklace to bind Desire’s hands.  A big pacifier as a sort of gag.  Big round lollipops to spank with.  A long slender swizzle lollipop to fuck with.  A huge jawbreaker to kinda punch with.  We had a lot of fun and even got pictures taken by Hypnox, the event photographer.  It was definitely awesome pouring pixi stix powder on her and licking it off.

I wasn’t the only one who thought that too.  Prince was near by watching with a new friend of his, Christian- a totally hot FTM guy, and I had invited them to eat some sugar off her, but they did it gangster style sucking it up through a rolled up bill.

And then Christian asked if Desire would mind if he did a line off her back.  She didn’t so after showering off, we met him and Prince back at Christian’s room.  We crowded into the bathroom because roommates were around.  Desire took her shirt off and leaned over as Christian started to pour a line.  He asked me if I wanted.

And I debated whether or not to tell this story, but I am, so here it goes.

Yeah, I did want.  I’d never done it before, but I wanted to try it.  So he cut me a little line and showed me what to do and I did my thing and was kinda surprised that it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.  I did one more line a little bit later before we all went up to Match’s orgy and I was happy that I was now more awake.

My thoughts on the drug?  It was good.  It wasn’t so amazing that I feel a need to rush out and start doing it on my own, but I’ll probably do it the next time it’s around (which probably won’t be for another 2 years because that was the last time I was around it).

Match’s orgy was of course awesome.  There were so many people and there was so much fucking and action.  Match and I fooled around a bit when I first got there which was nice.  And I got to kiss a bit with this girl Flouer that was staying with him.  Squee.

The hottest thing though was watching Prince and Christian go at it.  It was so mother fucking hot.  They were all over each other and then Christian got his strap-on and was fucking Prince and it so awesome.  Prince was spewing out Spanish and shit.

I started really fading at 4am though (so early, I know!) and had to get to bed.  Though I lost my key and had to get let back into my room (as I was traipsing through the lobby in my lingerie- whoops).

Sunday morning I was ready to go home.  I just woke up and was ready to go.  But I had 1 more class that I had to attend.  The Jealousy in Poly Relationships class.  But it wasn’t until the last one of the day unfortunately.

First I went to a Kinky Barbershop class which was really fun.  (Anyone willing to let me learn how to use a straight razor on them??  Lol.)

And then it was finally time for the class.  In hindsight, I don’t know why I didn’t bring tissues with me.

I think I’ll write about what happened in the class in a separate post because that’s just a whole ‘nother issue.  But I will say it was really great to be able to share my story with other poly people who can understand what’s happening and not judge my relationship choices.

After the class I packed my stuff up and headed home.

Now I’m exhausted because even though I purposefully skipped my 8:30 class I was still woken up by my roommate at 8am (who by the way is still laying in bed with her boyfriend).  This roommate situation is really getting to me.

So there was my weekend.

It wasn’t the magical time I had at camp- not by a long shot.

But thank God for my friends.  I don’t know what I would have done without you guys.  I love you!

Writers Block

I’m suffering from some severe writer’s block.  Weeks have gone by now where I’ve wanted to write, but every time I go to put pen to paper, absolutely nothing comes out and I flitter to another activity.  But there are so many stories I want to tell, and I’m starting to fear they may never get told.

I want to tell you about Brian, who I met while escorting.  We had one of those instant chemistry kind of things, but it never developed into anything because he couldn’t get over the fact he was 17 years my senior.  Nor could he manage to stay in touch between the times he was in town on business.  He popped up out of no where, after 6 months, asking to see me.  I told him if he was going to treat me like a whore, then I would treat him like a John - and gave him a pretty high price.  He declined, apologized for hurting my feelings, and wished me well.  That was the last I heard from him, almost 2 years ago.

Then there’s Michael.  Going all the way back to when I was 17.  There’s a lot to talk about with him and our 3 year off and on relationship.  The highs and lows.  The fact I see him on campus every once in a while still and wish he would fucking graduate all ready!

I want to tell you about my first experience with submission- talking online and on the phone with someone from Collarme.  What it was like for me exploring my darker side for the first time.

And there are probably even more stories from my past that I’ll want to tell as they come to me.

In more recent months, there’s so much I’ve done and I’ve barely gotten around to scratching the surface.

Back in the fall I had a date with someone from camp and learned of an interesting perception he had of me.  Apparently he thought I was quite hardcore and remarked at being surprised to see me write about marriage and kids on the blog.  It’s also a funny story because I wouldn’t exactly stop talking long enough for him to kiss me.  So I told him to just tell me to shut up.  He caught on quickly enough.

Of course I never wrote about Floating World.  My first suspension, making friends, tears and heart break, playing with a new couple.  I’d like to get around to writing that event one day.

I’d like to write more about Match, my friend from camp.  I don’t even know what I’d write though.  It’d be hard not to gush about what an amazing guy he is.  He’s really one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.  He came to visit me back in the fall and actually helped me Christen my house.  In all my years, I’d never had sex there (I was very virginal in high school).

There’s another story of Boymeat caning the tops of my thighs so badly I could barely put on my jeans at the end of the night because of how swollen the welts were.  Then also how I couldn’t even put my laptop on my lap for a few days because of how badly bruised I was.  Have I also mentioned how much I loved it?  Shhh…don’t tell him! 

Then there was the time Jefferson got his whole fist in me for the first time- up to the narrow part I’m talking.  We were putting on a show for some guy and he starts fingering me and of course I’m thrashing on the bed in like a non-stop orgasm.  I even bump my head on the night stand during it.  And he starts working his fist in and before I know it, it’s all the way in.  I couldn’t really stand it that day, but I was ecstatic to know it was possible.

I also would like to share a reading of my tarot cards Desire did for me earlier this month, but of course I’ve forgotten half of what she told me at this point.  I should have written it down at the time.  But she had some good insights into my love life, and also my school life, and it was amazing how dead on she was.

My first TES meeting and then my first time at Paddles with Jocasta.

My first orgy at Marcus’s.  Wendy fisting me.

Tea parties.

Dancing with Jefferson in his living room.

New Year’s Eve with friends.

Countless stories are going untold because I can’t unlock my brain.  And all of these snippets are just synopses, they’re not justice for the tales.  But at least I’m giving them some kind of voice.

It’s a little strange, but my break-up post with Jefferson, from last winter is actually one of my favorite posts.  I thought it was very beautifully written, and I really only wish all my posts could be as good as that.  But of course not every story evokes that kind of emotion in me.  Hopefully one day (soon) I can come back and write these stories, the right way.

I just need to get rid of this damn writer’s block.

Under the Surface

I had one thing on my mind for Friday night’s orgy: I wanted a caning. I was so in the mood for pain. And I knew Boymeat was going to be there, so it was pretty much a sure thing.

The party was at Tyler’s in Brooklyn, and even though I left late, I was still the first to arrive. His sweet as pie girlfriend, Evangeline, let me in and we had some yummy hot chocolate as we talked. Wendy came next, and shortly after her, everyone else arrived en masse having all just come from the Modified Eros show.

I got so excited as all my favorite people started pouring in the room, including friends from camp! Ace was there as was Sammy and his girlfriend Laura, and Desire too! And then of course all my orgy friends!

I mingled for awhile talking to different people, not in any rush, and just enjoying spending time with my friends. I did my best as well to avoid Ace’s tickling advances, except that bitch Wendy fucking started it and pinned me down while the two of them tickled me as I shrieked and howled. Man, I hate being tickled!

Jocasta and Desire were having fun together with rope, and that was great to watch. Jocasta was doing herself up in a breast harness when Desire expressed interest in getting tied up. Miss Jo did a very nice job doing her up in a fancy body thing, and you better bet Desire looked great in it. Then next she showed Wendy how to do a rope harness for a strap-on. It’s always a fun night when the rope comes out.

I got my chance at a caning without even having to ask. Isn’t it great like that? Boymeat single-tailed the shit out of Eden’s back first that night, and after they were done, he took out a cane for me. Boymeat had me lay face down on a couch laying across Eden, with my head in Tyler’s lap and Boymeat sat on a stool above me. He started with a firm steady rhythm using one of his thicker canes and I quickly switched into a head space of concentrating on the pain.

I made sure to keep breathing as I focused on processing the pain. But fuck, it hurt. And, yeah, I liked it. Which Boymeat loves to rub in my face.

I soon started to break out in a light sweat, as is what happens with canings.

I cried out when it hurt; I sighed when it was bearable. My feet kicked when he tortured me by concentrating in the same spot.

We were aiming to get me to cum again, but I wasn’t so sure I was going to get there. The vibrations were pulsing right through me, but the pain wasn’t quite translating properly for that. Plus there was something just under the surface that I think was inhibiting me- I was really just in the mood to cry.

Boymeat was good though, he kept coming over and checking in on me.

Then he pulled out a stingier cane and started whacking on my back. Holy fuck. That shit hurt. It was like needles jabbing, or something like that. I don’t know, but it was intense.

Eventually we moved to the bedroom, a quieter place in hopes to get me off. Space was cleared on Tyler’s bed for me to lay down. Boymeat resumed his caning of me at a steady, easy pace with a nice thick cane. I thought I might be able to cum then, but Boymeat gradually picked up the intensity and I again started sailing on the pain. My foot tapped the floor in beat with the swinging of his cane as I moaned into mattress. I howled and squirmed as it got more and more difficult to bear.

He paused and kneeled next to me, pulling the curls out of my face. His hand was right next to mine and I started to reach for it.

“Here, take my hand,” he said moving it into mine.

He stroked my head a bit as my breathing slowed down to normal. I wanted to cry. It was right.there. But it just wasn’t breaking the surface.

“You didn’t have to stop,” I said, smiling at him. I had hoped that maybe just a little bit more was all I needed.

He gave me just a bit more, but still nothing.

He got underneath me on the bed and pulled out his cock for me to suck.

“Is this a thank you or a post-caning treat?” he asked me right before I took him in my mouth.
“Thank you?” I said unsurely.

He shook his head and guided my head down onto him. I blew him for a bit, moving from his cock to his balls.

“Damn my inability to cum in public,” he cursed.

Boymeat zipped himself up and I laid my head in his lap getting my after care as fingers went through my hair, tugging gently ever so often.

Eventually, I got up. I forget why exactly. I wandered around a little bit in a subspacey kind of daze, still feeling unfinished.

Towards the end of the night I propositioned Jefferson. I told him specifically I wanted him to rough me up. I had no opinion on how he did so, so he chose to clear off some of the kitchen table and bend me over it. He pulled out his flogger and hung it over his shoulder as he slapped my poor, sore ass.

I squirmed and screamed and his hand grabbed my hair to keep me firm against the table.

He took his flogger in hand and stepped back and started hitting me with it nice and hard. He aimed for my ass and back and I sighed and moaned on impact. I don’t know if a flogger really could ever make me cry.

All of the sudden I felt coldness wash over me as he poured water on my bottom half. He spanked and flogged me on top of it and it stung with the wetness. I squealed again as he poured the rest of the water on me and I started to shiver a bit as I got chilly.

I dragged Jefferson into the bedroom to fuck me next. We made out on the bed as he fingered my clit and got me off. I went down on him after and got him hard to fuck me. He grabbed a condom and pushed into me hitting my g-spot instantly. I groaned under him as he fucked me hard, pinning my arms down. I kept pulling him down to kiss me though. I kissed him roughly, biting on his lip and tugging on his hair and he sighed into my mouth, grabbing me tighter.

I pulled back from him and gave a sly smile.

“Baby,” I said to him.
“Yes, honey?”
“I need you to hit me.”
“Where?”
“Slap me,” I told him.

He nodded and straddled my hips. I closed my eyes in anticipation, tensing a bit. I love having my face slapped, but it still brings up a primal, visceral reaction that borders on fear.

He came on the left side first and within the next 10 seconds, I felt that emotion bubbling to the top. My jaw started to tremble and I was ready to let go. The heat built in my cheeks and I grabbed at Jefferson lightly, suppressing the urge to fight back. I whimpered as the slaps came in forceful succession and soon the tears started to form. He punched my chest with another hand and I flinched and tried to recoil.

He paused a moment, and I nodded my head in a silent affirmation for him to keep going.

He started again and very quickly I started to cry. Just as I needed. He stopped once I was able to let go and pulled me into him, holding me. I cried softly, my chest shaking as I breathed, and I assured Jefferson that I was ok.

“It’s not a bad cry,” I told him. As in, I wasn’t sad about anything, I was just feeling a little weepy.
“I know, baby. I trust you and you trust me, and we can do that for each other,” he replied kissing me.

We cuddled together quietly, but all too quickly, Eden came in to let Jefferson know his ride was starting to get ready to leave.

He left me for a few moments to get dressed, and I just stayed curled up on the bed, ready for sleep at that point. He cuddled me a little bit more once he was dressed and we both got up when all his crew were ready to head out. I hugged everyone goodbye, told Jefferson and Desire I’d see them the next afternoon when I would get Desire to head down to DC.

I thanked and kissed Boymeat and he told me next time he would drink more water. (*Sigh*)

Wendy and I got dressed and I tried to usher her out the door as quickly as possible. First to arrive and last to leave. And part 1 of the orgystastic weekend came to a satisfying conclusion.

That Loving Feeling

As I was rushing off to catch the end of breakfast Sunday morning, I discovered my flip flops were missing. They absolutely weren’t anywhere and I was so confused. But my time was limited so I ran off to the dining hall sans shoes “ouching” my way down the path. I grabbed a quick bowl of cereal before heading to my first class of the day on humiliation. I had wanted Jefferson to go with me to hopefully have him get some ideas for us to play with, but he was no where to be found. But the class was good. I enjoyed it. And the class enjoyed when I shared the story of Harry fucking me in the streets of Brooklyn.

After that class was Marcus’s “How to Be a Whore” class. I learned what makes a smart whore vs. a “STUPID FUCKING WHORE!” I couldn’t stay for the business portion of the lecture as Jefferson and I left to eat lunch before his G-spot class. He left the classroom first and I ran after him and jumped on his back and he carried me piggy back into the cafeteria. While eating, we filled out camper awards ballots- and for the fill-in category, I nominated our cabin for most cuddling (I dare anyone to try and say they cuddled more than us!).

The G-spot class went well and in a similar fashion to Floating World’s class. Jefferson gave a short lecture then moved quickly into the demos starting with me. Of course me and my g-spot are always a great show. This time at camp’s class, I tried to hold off on my orgasm a little longer. I think I made it an extra minute.

I had a fun time after that too when Jefferson taught me how to finger another woman’s g-spot (my first time actually) and then us fingering her together. Then I got to fuck her with my strap-on as she was faced doggie style on a horse and moaning, “Give it to me, baby.” H-O-T!

After a few more demos including an entertaining fisting and me playing with Desire’s boobies, the class ended and Jefferson and i had some time to kill before we had chores together. We were in a group talking and I asked him if he had any plans before chores and when he said no, I asked if he wanted to go cuddle somewhere. He smiled and said sure. We grabbed our things and Jefferson lead us to a quiet grassy spot behind Sex-O-Rama that got almost no traffic.

The sun was out without a cloud in the sky so the air was warm enough for us to lay out naked. We stripped and laid on the grass together, quietly holding each other close for a bit. I turned to kiss him and we started making out a bit. Jefferson was hard and grabbed a condom from his pant’s pocket. He had me climb on top of him, something different for us. I moved slowly on him, not feeling the need to rush it or aything. I was enjoying this loving, tender moment between us.

I was in such a happy place from the weekend, and I honestly don’t think I’ve felt an emotion like it before. I asked Jefferson as I looked down at him and kissed him if it was corny that I was so happy I wanted to cry. He touched my cheek and said, “No, baby.”

Soon he flipped me on my back and pushed back into me, fucking me harder. I smiled up at him, his face surrounded only by blue sky and sunshine; and I captured the image in my brain, wanting to remember the sight for as long as possible. My eyes closed as I came a few times that day in the grass. Jefferson pulled out and we cuddled together until we had to go report to chores.

We were assigned to help disassemble a vendor’s tent. And we did our parts to help, but we also paused to hug and kiss a bit too. We were just in that kind of space. Once chores were done, we headed back to the cabin to relax before dinner. I crawled straight into my bed, pulled the covers over my head, and passed the fuck out. I’m not sure for how long; it felt about only 20 minutes, but maybe it was longer. I forget at this point.

Someone woke me, telling me it was time for dinner and I sat up bleary-eyed. I rubbed my eyes and slid out of bed to put on Jefferson’s boots as he promised I could earlier. Match knelt down to help, but I whimpered, wanting to do it myself. Match and Jefferson laughed. I asked Match instead to look for my other flip-flop. One turned up after chores, but I still couldn’t find the other one.

And you know why? Because Wendy stole them the night before and didn’t put them back where I could find them! They were just no where and I had to go barefoot all day as a result! Luckily Match was able to find the other one before I went out again.

That night at dinner were the camper awards, and that was fun. Our cabin won Best New Cabin for having the most sex. Then 3 cabin members won awards- Hunter for being a harbinger of bisexuality, Marcus for being most likely to get laid, and Match for a hot threesome during the peep show.  I had hoped my Blow Job Throw Down win would have been announced, but oh well.

I started to tear up during dinner though. I was just so happy and I didn’t want the weekend to be over. It wasn’t though at that point.

I still had 2 dates to tie people up that night in the dungeon.

First I tied up Jocasta. She was in a mood to be tied up and flogged, and I was in such a toppy mood that weekend. I did her up in a partial suspension (that we coached me through). I put her in a breast harness and then attached that to the rig, then pulled a leg up in front of her, attaching that; and then her hands last. She had put a crotch rope on too which was fun to pull on through the scene.

I gave her a good flogging, trying to remember everything I had learned in Lolita’s class that Friday. All in all I wasn’t too mean, but she got what she wanted.

After we were done, I tied up this man I’d played with in the brothel the night before. It was ok. Good experience practicing my rope tying, and also negotiating a scene with a stranger as a top. I put him in a hog tie and played with his ass and blew him a bit. I was exhausted though, so I didn’t last too long.

As I was untying him though, one of the cute Polish kitchen boys approached me and asked if I could do that to him. I smiled and laughed to myself. I told him though I was headed to bed.

I grabbed my stuff and started walking back to the cabin. I was trying not to be sad about leaving soon, though I was a little disappointed Jefferson didn’t come to the dungeon to say goodbye like he said he would. As I was approaching the cabin, I saw a car in front- Jefferson hadn’t left yet!

He was still waiting on Wendy and another New Yorker, Drew, who he was giving a ride to.  He got out of the car to give me a hug goodbye while he waited. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and we just hugged like that quietly for awhile.

Jefferson spoke first, “Baby, I love you.” I squeezed him tight. It was the 1st time we’d said it since the break-up earlier that summer.

“I know, baby, I know so much better than before. And I love you too,” I told him before kissing him.

Soon Wendy and Drew made their appearances and they all said their final goodbyes.

I wasted no time crawling into bed with my new bed mates- Hunter and Match! I was ready to crash, but Lolita and Molly started doing a hot scene with Marcus right in front of me, and I couldn’t help but watch! (Read Lolita’s story of it here).

I lost Match though by the end of the night- I think he ended up going to play with Prince. So, I can’t blame him. Around 3, Hunter and I finally managed to fall asleep (might I say it was kind of great sleeping with a 6′7 man- you just get wrapped up in him!) (And yes, I did sleep with a different person each night, lol.)

The next morning, after only a few hours sleep though, Hunter and I were woken by Marcus who came crawling into bed wrapped in a thin blanket, shivering. We put him in between us and cuddled him back to warmth. We kept getting yelled at though for being up so early. (It was like 8 am). Eventually things got hot and fun as I started giving Marcus a hand job as Selina fingered his ass. Then Marcus started going down on Hunter (Holy hotness!!!) deep throating him and all and gave him his first orgasm of the weekend!

The rest of the day wound up quickly. I got peed on randomly by Marcus and then had to shower off. I packed my things (there wasn’t too much) and deflated the mattress Zelda had lent us. I helped clean up a bit around the cabin and then went to pack my car. I hugged goodbye to my cabin mates that left before me, and hugged more as I prepared to take off myself. Viviane walked me outside and I hugged her saying how happy I was we could be friends.

I didn’t really want to go. I wanted to stay at camp forever and live like it was a 60s commune. Too bad life doesn’t really work that way.

I got back home in a just a few hours and went straight back to bed and just slept for the next 5 hours. Alone.