Posts tagged: Desire

The Camp Post

authorAvah | October 19, 2008

This is a sex blog, right? I guess I should start writing more sex, huh…

I promised a post about camp.

Camp was not even close to the level that it was last year. And I knew it wouldn’t. But nonetheless it did manage to restore a bit of my faith in humanity (on the sex positive level at least).

Friday was rainy and gloomy. It was quiet and much of the cabin napped in the early evening. I had a chore as floater but ended up not being needed. I did start off the weekend right though by fucking Match right off the bat. After that I was just killing time until Lee Harrington’s labyrinth walk and then a non-bio cock gang bang I had been invited to.

The walk took place in the rain, which didn’t faze me too much. It was a little humid, but otherwise it was kind of nice.

I don’t know how long we walked for. It felt about 30-45 minutes. We walked in silence through the woods to our destination of a rock labyrinth where drummers and support people (including Desire) waited for us.

We all stood around the circle and one by one went through as everyone watched. Some people chose to narrate their path, some walked quietly.

I wanted it to be an experience that could help me let go and move on. But I was slightly horrified that 2 people of the NYC bloggers/FOJ contingent were there to bear witness to this, and that wasn’t something I could face. So arms crossed, I walked briskly through the path wanting to get it over as quickly as possible. It was probably too soon to deal with this shit anyways.

But after that I was psyched for the gang bang.

I was invited by Sunshine (I’m calling her Sunshine because when she smiles it’s like a ray of sunshine), one of the lovely ladies of the Triad I mentioned before. Her pet was there as fluffer, and man can he suck some cock! I’d be a little intimidated to go up against him in a BJ throwdown.

The gang bang was fun. I’d never thought I’d be on the other end! I think in total Sunshine went through 4 or 5 tops, wearing us all out. I had Jell-O legs when I was done!

After that I hit the hay and slept and slept and slept! The gang (my awesome cabin, Panny FuxXx) tried to get me up for breakfast, but I just couldn’t get up. People came in periodically for me, but I just couldn’t wake myself up. I ended up sleeping until like 1-1:30 for lunch. In the hot as balls cabin too.

Because Saturday was sunny and 80 degrees!!

Saturday ended up being a shoot the breeze kind of day. I helped out at the petting zoo for my other chore and that’s where I earned my kitty ears. I spent the rest of the day just hanging out and talking with people. I may have even napped again in the evening I think. I forget at this point.

Oh, I did happen to have the most amazing kiss of my entire life at dinner that night. I some how managed to kiss this guy Reid at dinner, and wow. Holy fuck. I’ve never had such an amazing kiss before. I mean no one even comes remotely close!! And it’s not even that everyone was that bad (though man I’ve had some bad kisses in my day), but Reid is just that good.

But after dinner I wandered around with Desire. We watched people get lit on fire, checked out sex-o-rama, the dungeon, and then the poi spinning. Desire talked shop with the DJ a bit as I found some friends to catch up with. I think that was the first time I ever saw Poi, and I was lucky to watch this guy Whitney who was out of this world amazing!! It was completely mesmerizing. One of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.

I ended the night hanging out on the porch with my cabin mates, which is half the reason I wanted to go to camp this year. To just chill with cool people.

(Even though I could use that money right now, I’m so glad I went again.)

Sunday was fucking hotter than balls.

Desire and I spent some time in the pool because it was the coolest place to be, and I mean temperature wise. We stayed in the deep end of course because I didn’t want anyone seeing my fat nakedness (I think I would have stuck out more wearing a bathing suit actually). That was fun because we spent some time chatting with this one guys I’ve seen at the DO parties, but never really met. He was nice. Again, what I love about camp.

Desire and I also had our age play scene that day. It ended up being pretty fun. We pretended we were little girls playing together and Desire didn’t want to share her toys so she tied me up and beat me with them. But I managed to make it into a water gun fight chasing her. And then Hunter came and took our dolls and put them in the basketball hoops (which of course only he can reach being 6′7″).

And I had another water gun fight which was fun!! Shibari Warrior squirted me first which meant war was on. So I grabbed a bunkmate’s water gun and went to the dining hall to put ice in the tank and went on an ambush mission. I caught him totally off guard which was totally awesome. He eventually stole my gun though and used it on me, but I gotta say, it felt real nice with the cold water on the hot day!

Towards the late afternoon I was debating whether or not I should go home or stay since a lot of the cabin was heading out that night and I didn’t have any plans made. But I decided that I should try and scrounge something up at dinner, and if I couldn’t, then I’d head home.

Sunday night dinner is always the camper awards and those can be a lot of fun.

They’re even better when you win best new cabin!!!! (Again!! Guess we know who the cool people are…) That’s right- Panny FuxXx, the next generation of kink won best new cabin. Apparently for being loud, messy, and causing lots and lots of trouble. That was such a fucking awesome cabin, like hardcore. Obama!!! (Blowjobs for Obama everyone!!!)

But yeah so at dinner Sunshine said she was throwing together an all lady orgy that night and invited me to participate. Yay!

I had to say goodbye to Match and Desire though after dinner because they had to head home for work Monday. Boo :(

Desire also managed to work her magic and give a hint to Reid that I was interested in him because I was too shy to say anything. Yay for that.

Because after they left I headed to Cigars and Chocolate with one of my awesome cabin mates Crush Puppy and we ran in to Reid there (who we both liked) and set up a little date after some mingling for me to give Reid my famous blow job and Crush Puppy would make out with him. Yum.

Crush Puppy was this awesome butch gender queer something or other (not sure of her exact labels) who was submissive and very into butch women. Well there was this circle of amazing butch women smoking cigars and Crush Puppy was noticing that they needed an ashtray. She wanted to volunteer, but we just watched for a bit until she mustered up the courage. The circle was very happy to make use of her.

I must say, as a voyeur, it was really fucking hot. I think it was one of the hottest things I saw at camp. Something about all those toppy butch women. Phew. It got me a little hot and bothered. And in the past I’ve usually not really been attracted to butch women all that much, but my tastes for people have shifted a lot over the years- it’s become much more diverse. I’m finding myself attracted to so many different kinds of people.

So I was definitely noticing all the hot people at camp. So many hot queer people. It was awesome.

That went on for awhile and eventually Reid found me and we found a corner in the Pavillion to hook up. We got started first, but Crush Puppy joined us shortly after. And man that was a hot scene too. You know me and sucking cock. And Reid was so totally into it which made it that much more fun. I would take breaks to make out with the both of them, which yum yum yum. I was very sad when it ended.

Except that I got to go to my all girl orgy!

I got to make out with pretty girls. And watch Sunshine fist one of the pretty girls. And suck Sunshine’s cock as she got fingered.

And then. Oh man. It’s the best. I got to suck the cock of this really hot queer girl that I’d been eying all weekend. I sucked that shit so good I got her off. In fact she told me I was only the 2nd girl to ever get her off sucking her cock. And that was a hell of a cock to suck too. The head was much larger than the base, so when it hit the back of my throat it was like instant gag city. But I totally rocked that shit. And damn she was hot.

I still can’t believe how many hot people I got to hook up with that weekend.

Man I love camp.

So there you all go- sex and camp.

Floating World

authorAvah | August 19, 2008

Well I suppose I’ll give my Floating World recap.  Not much went on, so it’ll be brief.

I got down (er, up technically) in the afternoon and checked into my hotel and showered and straighened my hair (God, is there anything better than a hotel shower?).  I headed over to the classes to start my weekend with whip classes to start practicing my new whip.  Very quickly I ran into this man, Mojodaddy, whom I had played with last year.  He was happy to see me (and fuck I was happy to run into him again, he’s so yummy!) and we both expressed interest in playing again over the weekend.

So that was at the beginning of one of the whip classes- I ended up doing 2 that night.  A whips 101 class and then an Intermediate/Advanced class taught by John Ireland.  That was pretty cool.  He was a really good instructor, I thought.

I’m having a little bit of second thoughts about my whip though.  I love it, but it’s a snake whip instead of a signal whip which means it has a fall attached to it.  That’s not something I’m used to.  Plus it’s pretty long- almost 6ft.  I’m debating whether or not to send it back to him and asking him to make it into a signal whip.  Part of me feels like if I just stick with it, I’ll really get the hang of it.  And I’m sure I will.  But another part of me wants my very 1st whip to be exactly what I want because I don’t want to buy a 2nd one for awhile (unless I were to find myself doing a lot of whip topping, which I don’t forsee in the near future).  Decisons, decisions.

So then after the 2 whip classes, I went back to my room to change and came back and found Mojodaddy there and we decided to play that night.  We walked around the dungeon briefly before heading back to my room.  And we had fun.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Just a nice, dirty, rough blow job.  Some spanking.  Some cuddling.  It was nice.  Perhaps we’ll make it a yearly Floating World hook-up date.  I’m certainly in favor of that.

Saturday was class day I gues.  I don’t even remember all the classes I went to.  I hung out in the dungeon a bit Saturday night, but wasn’t in the mood much for playing so I went back to my room to wash and organize all my toys and finish my outline for my class.

Sunday I slept in and hung out in vending with Jocasta for a bit before finally getting to a Sunday class.

I went to Del of Sacred Mark teach on Rites of Passage and Ordeal Paths, and oh my, so many thoughts on that.  For 1, I want to do an ordeal path.  Like woah.  I’d really like to do something that definitevely marks the moving on from Jefferson and being free of all bad feelings from that relationship.  I don’t know how or when, but I know it’s something that I want.  Aparently, according to Del, once I ask for it, he universe has a way of giving it to me.  So I suppose I need to be prepapred for that.

But anyways, after that I sat in on Lolita’s class on Threesomes as I waited for Desire to show up for us to teach our class on sex toys.

She showed up just in the nick of time thank god, only 30 minutes before our class.

I showed her the outline I made and we set up our classroom and taught pretty flawlessly!

It went really well.  I didn’t even need to look at the outline.  The class started small with only about 5 or so people but we got up to about 15 as people trickled in!  Not bad for a Sunday night at 8pm.  It was definitely a lot of fun and I hope Desire and I will teach that again.

We went to eat at a diner and then she headed back to DC (yes she’s a crazy girl). I hung around the dungeon for a little bit watching Zelda doing a scene, but headed home after awhile since I was tired and had a bit to drive.

All in all, a nice weekend.  No tears at least like last year.

And I got a new toy!  I forgot to mention.  I got a Njoy Fun Wand, which I tried out last night and it’s pretty cool!

So yeah.  That was my weekend.

Weighty Subject

authorAvah | June 10, 2008

Go read Desire’s lastest post on ethics within non-monogamous relationships.

It’s good.

And useful.

And so with the times!

Woooooo!!!!

authorAvah | May 18, 2008

I’m teaching at Floating World!!!!!!!

Woooooo!!!

Me and Desire are teaching on sex toys.

Woohooooo!!!!!!

DO Party and DC trip

authorAvah | May 7, 2008

Saturday night’s DO party was pretty awesometastic.

First I got down to DC in the mid-afternoon to chill with Desire a little bit. We were both pretty hungry so we soon headed out for something to eat- decided on a cute French bistro. Our meal was delicious. And the waitress cute. I totally felt like I was in France. We got a bottle of water, which was served only slightly cooler than room temperature (very French), and the bread and butter was out of this world. Really, I’ve never had butter that good.

Then the main course- chicken and fries. I was hoping it would be something like I had once in Paris, but it wasn’t quite like it. Good, but not the same. Though the fries were out of this world. Then for dessert I had profiteroles which were very yummy (though not as good as the way my mom makes them actually). It was very satisfying.

After we met up with Prince and a friend of his and drove out to the party. Match found us almost as soon as we walked in the door. And I’m always happy to see Match. Desire and I spent a little while just exploring the house and checking everything out.

The house was amazing. On the outside it was this totally normal suburban house, but once you got to the basement- holy fuck! It has to be one of the best home dungeons on the east coast. First there was all the toys and furniture. Floggers, whips, canes, bondage beds, tables, crosses and more. There was a fully stocked medical room. Cages. A little isolation room with doors for groping. And then the wet room- a beautifully tiled and huge shower area for all sorts of wet play.

It was enough to make your mouth water. (And yes I totally plan on having a kick ass dungeon like that one day too, lol).

Apparently the air conditioning had broken so the house got quite hot as the night went on. The basement became sauna like after so much play in the wet room.

I had myself a bunch of fun though. I was with Match in the medical room after he did a piercing on a guy (and was when I changed my mind about wanting to be pierced that night- it’s too scary!). He was sitting on the exam table and had me sit on the rolling stool, pulling me close to him. As he twittered, he pulled up his skirt for me to suck his cock which was already rock hard. Yum.

After sucking his cock for awhile Match had me stand up and take down my pants and undies. I leaned over the exam table and Match stood behind me and started fucking me. I moaned as it felt so good and watched us in the mirrored wall.

He moved to fuck my ass, spitting a bit on my whole and slid in effortlessly. He fucked me long and hard making me cum 4 or 5 times, without me even having to touch my clit. That was pretty intense. And awesome.

Later that evening Match hooked me up with a friend of his, a handsome man, XS. Match raved about my blowjob and insisted he try it. We found a spot in the dungeon, a bondage chair, which was perfect as it was almost like a throne for XS. A crowd gathered as I gave my best and impressed the socks off him, and even the crowd.

He fucked me as a thank you until my legs turned to jell-o.

Yum.

It was great seeing and playing with Match though, I feel like I hardly see or talk to him anymore. :(

Sunday started way too early when Desire’s cats woke us up numerous times. Eventually we rolled out of bed and met Prince for brunch and lounging in the grass. We passed a maypole thing and a guy tried to get me and Desire to sit under it because they only had heterosexual couples. Um, did we look like a couple? I mean, I suppose we could have. We declined though since we were meeting Prince. I took some pictures though (reminding myself to look at them).

After eating Desire and I went back to her place to chill a few hours before my bus where I passed out. I needed a nap so badly.

The bus ride home was a bummer- there was no internet. Though I started a new book which I’m already on page 300 (of 600).

The trip was great though- it was a nice little getaway with all the craziness the end of the school year brings.

Not in the Cards

authorAvah | March 24, 2008

First off, in response to how I’m titling this- what a fucking asshole.

I’m debating whether or not to tell the whole story behind that- I don’t want to be dramatic. But let’s just say there are some real insensitive fucks out there.

Before I go off on a rant about how awful the past 4 days have been, I’m going to start with the positives.

I got to go down to DC Thursday night and spend the night with Desire.

My (relatively) new friend Tilda helped me out in a jam and let me stay in her room when I lost mine (though I felt bad she didn’t get the space I knew she wanted). And Match helped calm me down and see my options.

Jocasta tied me up and Zelda flogged me.

Desire and I had an awesome candy scene in the dungeon.

Match had a kick ass orgy in his room.

And I went to some cool classes.

So even though I’m going to trash the weekend and label it essentially a failure, I’m not discounting the good stuff at all.

First rant: apparently pink eye is the new plague.

I realize it’s generally considered pretty contagious- and it’s kind of ewy and gooey, but Christ- it’s just pink eye. You take some eye drops and it’s gone in 3 or 4 days. And gee, if you don’t touch your eye and make sure you wash your hands constantly it’s fairly unlikely you’ll spread it to other people.

Ok, so the story goes I was supposed to room with this woman I didn’t know, but somehow (and I know how) she heard (as did half the fucking attendees) I woke up with pink eye and had someone (she couldn’t have this discussion with me for some reason) call me and tell me she didn’t want to room with me anymore because I had pink eye.

I wasn’t aware we’d be sharing eye liner (we certainly weren’t going to be sharing spit). I thought we’d just be sharing a room (where’d I’d have my own bed).

(And mind you I actually only ended up forcing myself to DC because I thought I had a commitment to my roommate to share the room. Silly me being considerate.)

Of course I heard this at 2pm on Friday afternoon just as I was parking my car and heading over to register. So I freaked. They were offering me the room (she would go somewhere else) but I didn’t know how I’d be able to find someone to split the cost of the room with me on such short notice and I didn’t think I could really afford it on my own.

So I went to registration and just after I walked in, Match followed, and thank God. I ran over to hug him and as he was asking how I was I burst into tears about my room (mind you I had already spent Thursday morning crying over the nasty exchange I’d had, which I will get to a some point). He helped calm me down a bit and then after we checked in, we went to his room and he helped me see my options and make a decision.

I realized that I could afford 2 nights at the hotel on my own, it was only an extra $60 or so. Once I came to that conclusion I called the people back to let them know I would take the room on my own. It went to voice mail though. But no biggie. I just told them to call me when they arrived so we could put the room on my credit card.

So while I was waiting for them, I went to Rita Seagrave’s Domination for Non-alphas. Let me just plug that for a moment- very fun class. And if you’re not familiar with Rita, let me just gush about how freaking hot she is. I already have a thing for red headed girls. But the whole class I couldn’t stop staring at her ass, lol. And when she’d sit on the table her skirt would ride up a little bit and the tops of her stocking would show. *Groan* Plus I just really like her presence. She’d come near by to hear someone’s question and it was just a nice vibe having her in the vicinity. So yeah.

Ok then, back to the rant. At the tail end of class, the people called me, but I let it go to voice mail since there were only 5 more minutes left.

When I heard the message in a few minutes I learned that they had given my room away because they thought I hadn’t gotten back to them. I dropped the phone and started crying again. Because here I was in DC without a room.

Jocasta took over for me and found Tilda and asked if I could room with her since she was by herself and thankfully she said yes.

Meanwhile I listened to the end of the message.

What a fucking fuck tard. I don’t even know who the person was, but what a serious asshole. Apparently having a place to stay just “wasn’t in the cards” and that being contagious wasn’t fair to everyone else.

All this just after telling me I no longer had a place to stay.

Man they were fucking lucky I’m actually a very non-confrontational person. As much as I bitch and moan here, the meanest thing I’ll do to someone in person is just give them the evil eye. And you best believe I gave that woman the evil eye every time I saw her.

After that whole ordeal I headed straight to the bar and sucked down 2 gin and tonics. I don’t usually turning to substances to relieve problems, but it was really the only way to save the night. Alcohol makes me happy. I mean that it makes me giggly and silly, so yeah, it helped. It was also fun sitting with Lynsey and Tilda and make up a funny story about this sullen looking family sitting in the lobby.

We surmised the daughter found the father’s porn (gay porn actually) and the mother just found out.

Thankfully the rest of Friday went well. A good time was had by all in the dungeon and it was a fairly early night, heading to bed at 1.

Saturday was good during the day.  Went to some classes which I think I’ll talk about briefly.  I enjoyed another one of Sarah Sloane’s classes.  I went to a class on humiliation at summer camp and this time I went to her Driven to Tears: Playing on the Edge class.  It was a lot to do with like cathartic play or ordeal path.  Damn if I didn’t start jonesing for a cathartic play scene.  Still am.  And I will probably ask for one soon, but I think first I need to do some processing on my own.

After that I went to Barbara Carellas’s Erotic Breathwork class which I had really been looking forward to because I had wanted to go when she did it a CV in the fall, but I ended up being late and couldn’t go because of certain things going wrong.  Unfortunately it wasn’t a good weekend for me- I was just too blocked.  So it didn’t have an effect on me, but I’ll file away what I learned and hopefully can put it to use in the future.

After we had a nice lunch with Me, Jocasta, Desire, and Prince (a super great guy I met at camp) and a fun sitz bath social too back at my room (long story I’ll tell if I’m told it’s ok).   I also got to buzz Desire’s hair into a mohawk- which looks super cute and she decided it’s subtle enough she can probably get away with it at work so she’ll keep it!

I missed the petting zoo because I went to the last class of the day, Dossie Easton’s Bottomless Pits: Topping serious pain sluts.  What a great class.  I’d never heard Dossie speak before, but wow, what a great presenter.  I’m definitely going to make a point to attend more of her classes in the future.  Poor Jocasta was exhausted and fell asleep a bit (even snoring a little, lol).

I started jonesing again this time for a heavy intense scene.  I consider myself somewhat of a bottomless pit (though some days there is a bottom), but I’ve never really had the opportunity to really test my endurance.  Dossie mentioned a relay scene (meaning there were a few tops there) that lasted for over 7 hours!  7 hours of being beat up.  That’s for sure the forever place she mentions.  Someday I’ll have to plan a huge block of time where I can try going there (maybe not 7 hours, but a couple hours at least).

Then demoed on Barbara caning her and spanking her.  Turns out I’m not the only one who laughs when they’re getting hit!  It was a really fun scene to watch though.  But man if I didn’t want a serious beating myself.

I was exhausted at that point and retreated to my room to try and nap so I could function better that evening.  I sort of slept- for a few minutes.   But I ended up getting hysterical again.  Exhaustion pushes me over the edge very easily.

Here I’m going to get very raw and very honest- the one thing people constantly praise my blog for.

I was in an intense amount of emotional agony.  The distress from Thursday and Friday just bubbled up and I couldn’t push it aside.  I started crying and as I started to cry harder I told myself that it was ok to cry and that I should just let it out and then I would feel better.  Except I wasn’t really feeing better.  I just kept crying.  And I was getting more and more anxious.  I couldn’t sit still and started to walk around the room, needing to do something with myself.

I wanted to cut.  I wanted to see my blood- I knew that would help calm and sedate me.  But I didn’t have any razors and I’m very particular about how I cut.  Plus, I mean, I didn’t really want to resort to that in the middle of Winter Fire.

So I grabbed for the next best thing- my left over Percocets.  I broke it in half (after a classmate mentioned this) so it would hit me faster.  And I swallowed my tears and let myself be numb.

Being numb isn’t good, but sometimes you need to do it for a little bit to just function.

At this point most people were at the banquet and a bunch of the sex bloggers that didn’t go to the banquet went out for Chinese, but I knew Match wasn’t at either so I texted him to see what he was up to.  He was about to grab a bite with 2 of his female friends and invited me.  Finally calmed down, I dressed and went to be social.

I’d go nuts if I stayed in that room any longer.

We just grabbed a bite at the hotel restaurant, but it was fun.  I like the 2 girls so it’s good.  The one also brought a cute little submissive boy who was actually kinda cool.  One of the coolest 19 year old boys I’ve been around in a long time.

Desire met me in Match’s room after she got out of the banquet and we grabbed our candy to do our scene.

We found a nice open space in the dungeon and I laid down one of those mess pads so we didn’t get candy all in the rug.  We went all out for this.  We’d thought of everything.  We had a candy necklace to bind Desire’s hands.  A big pacifier as a sort of gag.  Big round lollipops to spank with.  A long slender swizzle lollipop to fuck with.  A huge jawbreaker to kinda punch with.  We had a lot of fun and even got pictures taken by Hypnox, the event photographer.  It was definitely awesome pouring pixi stix powder on her and licking it off.

I wasn’t the only one who thought that too.  Prince was near by watching with a new friend of his, Christian- a totally hot FTM guy, and I had invited them to eat some sugar off her, but they did it gangster style sucking it up through a rolled up bill.

And then Christian asked if Desire would mind if he did a line off her back.  She didn’t so after showering off, we met him and Prince back at Christian’s room.  We crowded into the bathroom because roommates were around.  Desire took her shirt off and leaned over as Christian started to pour a line.  He asked me if I wanted.

And I debated whether or not to tell this story, but I am, so here it goes.

Yeah, I did want.  I’d never done it before, but I wanted to try it.  So he cut me a little line and showed me what to do and I did my thing and was kinda surprised that it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.  I did one more line a little bit later before we all went up to Match’s orgy and I was happy that I was now more awake.

My thoughts on the drug?  It was good.  It wasn’t so amazing that I feel a need to rush out and start doing it on my own, but I’ll probably do it the next time it’s around (which probably won’t be for another 2 years because that was the last time I was around it).

Match’s orgy was of course awesome.  There were so many people and there was so much fucking and action.  Match and I fooled around a bit when I first got there which was nice.  And I got to kiss a bit with this girl Flouer that was staying with him.  Squee. :)

The hottest thing though was watching Prince and Christian go at it.  It was so mother fucking hot.  They were all over each other and then Christian got his strap-on and was fucking Prince and it so awesome.  Prince was spewing out Spanish and shit.

I started really fading at 4am though (so early, I know!) and had to get to bed.  Though I lost my key and had to get let back into my room (as I was traipsing through the lobby in my lingerie- whoops).

Sunday morning I was ready to go home.  I just woke up and was ready to go.  But I had 1 more class that I had to attend.  The Jealousy in Poly Relationships class.  But it wasn’t until the last one of the day unfortunately.

First I went to a Kinky Barbershop class which was really fun.  (Anyone willing to let me learn how to use a straight razor on them??  Lol.)

And then it was finally time for the class.  In hindsight, I don’t know why I didn’t bring tissues with me.

I think I’ll write about what happened in the class in a separate post because that’s just a whole ‘nother issue.  But I will say it was really great to be able to share my story with other poly people who can understand what’s happening and not judge my relationship choices.

After the class I packed my stuff up and headed home.

Now I’m exhausted because even though I purposefully skipped my 8:30 class I was still woken up by my roommate at 8am (who by the way is still laying in bed with her boyfriend).  This roommate situation is really getting to me.

So there was my weekend.

It wasn’t the magical time I had at camp- not by a long shot.

But thank God for my friends.  I don’t know what I would have done without you guys.  I love you!

You Should So Be Jealous of Me

authorAvah | February 14, 2008

Because not only do I get to spend Sunday with my Desire, I also get to assist at the photo shoot she’s doing with Barbara Nitke.

That’s right bitches.

I am so freaking excited- I can’t even tell you.

Weee!!

Under the Surface

authorAvah | November 12, 2007

I had one thing on my mind for Friday night’s orgy: I wanted a caning. I was so in the mood for pain. And I knew Boymeat was going to be there, so it was pretty much a sure thing.

The party was at Tyler’s in Brooklyn, and even though I left late, I was still the first to arrive. His sweet as pie girlfriend, Evangeline, let me in and we had some yummy hot chocolate as we talked. Wendy came next, and shortly after her, everyone else arrived en masse having all just come from the Modified Eros show.

I got so excited as all my favorite people started pouring in the room, including friends from camp! Ace was there as was Sammy and his girlfriend Laura, and Desire too! And then of course all my orgy friends!

I mingled for awhile talking to different people, not in any rush, and just enjoying spending time with my friends. I did my best as well to avoid Ace’s tickling advances, except that bitch Wendy fucking started it and pinned me down while the two of them tickled me as I shrieked and howled. Man, I hate being tickled!

Jocasta and Desire were having fun together with rope, and that was great to watch. Jocasta was doing herself up in a breast harness when Desire expressed interest in getting tied up. Miss Jo did a very nice job doing her up in a fancy body thing, and you better bet Desire looked great in it. Then next she showed Wendy how to do a rope harness for a strap-on. It’s always a fun night when the rope comes out.

I got my chance at a caning without even having to ask. Isn’t it great like that? Boymeat single-tailed the shit out of Eden’s back first that night, and after they were done, he took out a cane for me. Boymeat had me lay face down on a couch laying across Eden, with my head in Tyler’s lap and Boymeat sat on a stool above me. He started with a firm steady rhythm using one of his thicker canes and I quickly switched into a head space of concentrating on the pain.

I made sure to keep breathing as I focused on processing the pain. But fuck, it hurt. And, yeah, I liked it. Which Boymeat loves to rub in my face.

I soon started to break out in a light sweat, as is what happens with canings.

I cried out when it hurt; I sighed when it was bearable. My feet kicked when he tortured me by concentrating in the same spot.

We were aiming to get me to cum again, but I wasn’t so sure I was going to get there. The vibrations were pulsing right through me, but the pain wasn’t quite translating properly for that. Plus there was something just under the surface that I think was inhibiting me- I was really just in the mood to cry.

Boymeat was good though, he kept coming over and checking in on me.

Then he pulled out a stingier cane and started whacking on my back. Holy fuck. That shit hurt. It was like needles jabbing, or something like that. I don’t know, but it was intense.

Eventually we moved to the bedroom, a quieter place in hopes to get me off. Space was cleared on Tyler’s bed for me to lay down. Boymeat resumed his caning of me at a steady, easy pace with a nice thick cane. I thought I might be able to cum then, but Boymeat gradually picked up the intensity and I again started sailing on the pain. My foot tapped the floor in beat with the swinging of his cane as I moaned into mattress. I howled and squirmed as it got more and more difficult to bear.

He paused and kneeled next to me, pulling the curls out of my face. His hand was right next to mine and I started to reach for it.

“Here, take my hand,” he said moving it into mine.

He stroked my head a bit as my breathing slowed down to normal. I wanted to cry. It was right.there. But it just wasn’t breaking the surface.

“You didn’t have to stop,” I said, smiling at him. I had hoped that maybe just a little bit more was all I needed.

He gave me just a bit more, but still nothing.

He got underneath me on the bed and pulled out his cock for me to suck.

“Is this a thank you or a post-caning treat?” he asked me right before I took him in my mouth.
“Thank you?” I said unsurely.

He shook his head and guided my head down onto him. I blew him for a bit, moving from his cock to his balls.

“Damn my inability to cum in public,” he cursed.

Boymeat zipped himself up and I laid my head in his lap getting my after care as fingers went through my hair, tugging gently ever so often.

Eventually, I got up. I forget why exactly. I wandered around a little bit in a subspacey kind of daze, still feeling unfinished.

Towards the end of the night I propositioned Jefferson. I told him specifically I wanted him to rough me up. I had no opinion on how he did so, so he chose to clear off some of the kitchen table and bend me over it. He pulled out his flogger and hung it over his shoulder as he slapped my poor, sore ass.

I squirmed and screamed and his hand grabbed my hair to keep me firm against the table.

He took his flogger in hand and stepped back and started hitting me with it nice and hard. He aimed for my ass and back and I sighed and moaned on impact. I don’t know if a flogger really could ever make me cry.

All of the sudden I felt coldness wash over me as he poured water on my bottom half. He spanked and flogged me on top of it and it stung with the wetness. I squealed again as he poured the rest of the water on me and I started to shiver a bit as I got chilly.

I dragged Jefferson into the bedroom to fuck me next. We made out on the bed as he fingered my clit and got me off. I went down on him after and got him hard to fuck me. He grabbed a condom and pushed into me hitting my g-spot instantly. I groaned under him as he fucked me hard, pinning my arms down. I kept pulling him down to kiss me though. I kissed him roughly, biting on his lip and tugging on his hair and he sighed into my mouth, grabbing me tighter.

I pulled back from him and gave a sly smile.

“Baby,” I said to him.
“Yes, honey?”
“I need you to hit me.”
“Where?”
“Slap me,” I told him.

He nodded and straddled my hips. I closed my eyes in anticipation, tensing a bit. I love having my face slapped, but it still brings up a primal, visceral reaction that borders on fear.

He came on the left side first and within the next 10 seconds, I felt that emotion bubbling to the top. My jaw started to tremble and I was ready to let go. The heat built in my cheeks and I grabbed at Jefferson lightly, suppressing the urge to fight back. I whimpered as the slaps came in forceful succession and soon the tears started to form. He punched my chest with another hand and I flinched and tried to recoil.

He paused a moment, and I nodded my head in a silent affirmation for him to keep going.

He started again and very quickly I started to cry. Just as I needed. He stopped once I was able to let go and pulled me into him, holding me. I cried softly, my chest shaking as I breathed, and I assured Jefferson that I was ok.

“It’s not a bad cry,” I told him. As in, I wasn’t sad about anything, I was just feeling a little weepy.
“I know, baby. I trust you and you trust me, and we can do that for each other,” he replied kissing me.

We cuddled together quietly, but all too quickly, Eden came in to let Jefferson know his ride was starting to get ready to leave.

He left me for a few moments to get dressed, and I just stayed curled up on the bed, ready for sleep at that point. He cuddled me a little bit more once he was dressed and we both got up when all his crew were ready to head out. I hugged everyone goodbye, told Jefferson and Desire I’d see them the next afternoon when I would get Desire to head down to DC.

I thanked and kissed Boymeat and he told me next time he would drink more water. (*Sigh*)

Wendy and I got dressed and I tried to usher her out the door as quickly as possible. First to arrive and last to leave. And part 1 of the orgystastic weekend came to a satisfying conclusion.

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