Hodgepodge
I’m having lunch with my father today. It’ll be the first time I’m seeing him since Christmas ‘06- and we’ve been basically estranged since Sep. ‘06. We’ve only spoken on the phone a few times when I’ve had to call him about insurance stuff. The lunch will be fine. We’ll be polite and cordial. It’s just going to feel weird having him back in my life. And I really don’t actually want to hash anything out. Like, ever. I pretty much just want to keep him at arms length. That will be best I think. The question is now- to show the tattoo, or not to show the tattoo? Is a nose ring and a tattoo too much in one day? Lol.
Last night I went to the DSF meeting at Paddles with Jocasta and Zelda. Lolita was teaching on poly. She sure does have a lot of great stories to tell! While sitting through the class, I came up with this pondering- Would I have persued poly if I hadn’t met Jefferson?
And, to also consider- is this how I want to continue? Obviously my situation frustrates me because even though I care very much for the people in my life, it’s just filled with play partners when we all know I really want a partnership. A “primary,” if you will. So will finding a primary partner alleviate my frustration or is poly potentially just not for me in actuality? Or do I only care because it’s that time of the month and this is generally the only time I really get frustrated about this stuff?
We’re just gonna mull over those ideas for a bit.
After the meeting, while Jocasta was getting her birthday spanking from Lolita, Boymeat showed up and I some how became a punching bag, being volleyed between Boymeat’s fist and Jocasta’s X’s foot. Then Lolita joined in and I felt like a pinball bouncing around in a game! And then I started crying. I was already feeling emotional, and then being hit will really just bring it to the surface. Not exactly the right time or place, for me, to do that. But it made me think that a “frustration scene” could be really cathartic for me at this moment in time.
OK, I think that’s all for now.
BDSM, Life, Random musings, about me | 
Avah | April 12, 2008
By Lolita, April 12, 2008 @ 11:44 am
I am glad you enjoyed my stories and that I was able to give you stuff to think about.
Lolita’s last blog post..I am Wrestling with my Taxes
By Essin' Em, April 13, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
A belated happy birthday!
It sounds like things (France, thinking out relationship stuff, 2 year blogiversary, etc) are starting to really look up for you.
By Ace, April 13, 2008 @ 11:10 pm
This is totally random, but what kind of camera did you get?
By Avah, April 13, 2008 @ 11:12 pm
I got a Canon 40D