Life, Love, Sex

The Way I Am

Earlier this week, I camped up at Jefferson’s to recover from my wisdom teeth removal. Although I had been feeling relatively fine the first few days after the procedure, I guess I’d been over doing it with the chewing because by the time I got to Jefferson’s, I was in a good deal of pain- even with the Oxycodon.

Almost immediately after getting there I opted for a long, hot shower- something I don’t have the luxury of at my dorm. That definitely helped me relax.

Jefferson and I spent the evening having dinner and trading music thanks to that cool program, Senuti (which I’ve been telling people about, but no one is as excited about it as I am!). Now both of our music libraries are significantly improved. Way awesome.

The next morning as we ate our ice cream (raspberry sherbert for me actually), Jefferson practically strong-armed me to get the HPV vaccine.

“But I don’t like shots,” I explained.
“Well, do you like cancer?”
“Of course not. But there’s no cervical cancer in my family.”
“You don’t like shots, and you don’t have cancer in the family. Sounds like you’re just making excuses.”
“Yes, I’m quite good at that.”
“Just do it!”
“Oh alright- but I’m not dealing with doctor’s office and their atrocious insurance policy.”
“Just do it.”
“Ok, ok!”

I will soon look into alternative locations to get the shots (I swear!)- starting with my school health center. Do they give that stuff away for free anywhere does anyone know? Or do most insurances cover it?

But anyways, I wanted to share one of my new songs courtesy of Jefferson with you since I found it fitting.

“The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Jefferson and I may not have had the most perfect relationship- but here we are still together, just 1 month shy of 2 years. 2 years is by far the longest lasting friendship/relationship of my adult life (yes, my adult life is insanely short. I’m including high school in the mix too). And sometimes I don’t know why he puts up with me- or takes me back every time I break up with him.

(I’m planning on going to one of the classes at Winter Fire on poly and jealousy- for my own sake at least.)

I mean, that really must be freaking love. Right?

Or something. But he definitely takes me the way I am- flaws and everything. And that’s something that’s definitely hard to find.

Comments

• By Cdk, March 7, 2008 @ 12:09 am

  Sorry to hear that your teeth removal is hurting. but it will go away.
  And I have to agree with Jefferson on the HPV virus..it’s a good idea.

• By Cody, March 7, 2008 @ 12:22 pm

  Jefferson’s right, you know–you should really get the HPV vaccine. I just finished all three shots.

  Shots don’t hurt, believe it or not. It’s all in the mind. I find that if I don’t look at myself being injected, I feel nothing–a small, distant pinch at the very least. If I look, I die.

  What’s awesome about Senuti is that it opens you to different worlds and mindsets. It is very likely that I have some of your music, and you have some of mine–in addition to Jefferson’s. It’s a very cool idea.

  I don’t understand why everyone’s so up on Ingrid Michaelson. I’m not really into it, but everyone I know loves her.

  Try some Eisley. Beautiful stuff. Also, one of the members (of Eisley) takes awesome photos. I think you’ll like them. Here’s the link to her Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/photostoshare1/

  …I believe that’s it, anyway. If the link is broken, let me know. Also, check out her contacts–awesome photos and interesting people all around.

  Um…as far as jealousy goes (and I know this is easier said than done and also weird since I’m fucking J.), screw it (literally and figuratively). If Jefferson makes you happy, then stay with him. Love (or whatever seems/looks/feels like love–as I am unsure myself of what love is) is worth pursuing, and will ultimately bring you closer to yourself and more in tune with who you are and what you want in life.

  
  Cody’s last blog post..Bleed Like Me

• By Essin' Em, March 7, 2008 @ 3:12 pm

  It was nice to meet you last weekend. I’m sorry that your teeth have gotten more painful than they were Sunday.

  I totally support getting the HPV vaccine, and I usually only have sex with female bodied people. I feel that if you can do ANYTHING to prevent cancer, it’s totally worth it.

  Some student health centers have it discounted, some insurance covers it, and some PP have it on a sliding scale. I can send out a message to my program’s listserve and see if anywhere knows where to get it cheap/for free in NYC. Let me know if you’d like me to do so.

  Essin’ Em’s last blog post..You never know who we are

• By Avah, March 7, 2008 @ 5:49 pm

  It was great meeting you as well! And my teeth are feeling much better- I’m back to eating crunchy foods now- yummy potato chips.

  I’m pretty my school would have the shots available- and my mom would most definitely pay for it, so I don’t totally need it for free.

  God, I gotta really do it 3 times though? That’s a really big hassle for me to get somewhere to do this 3 times (unless it’s my school, then it’s less bad).

  I’m not actually afraid of shots. I’d just prefer to not get them when given the choice. Not like when I was 10 and I needed to be held down by 5 adults for the chicken pox vaccine!

  No, I got over my needle phobia around 15 when I started needing blood work for all those bi-polar meds.

• By Avah, March 7, 2008 @ 6:12 pm

  @Cody I feel like with the music thing now it’ll be like that experiment in health class where everyone has a cup of water but one person’s is blue and everyone shares water and by the end of the experiment, everyone’s water is tinted blue. Of course in health class the blue water represents HIV or another STD, not sharing of music files (but then again, the STD thing actually applies to all of us in this lovely, incestuous circle). Yea, but the music sharing just makes me think of that for some reason, lol.

  As far as Ingrid Michaelson going- I rarely do something just cause it’s popular (no, seriously). I was listening to the music Jefferson gave me and that song popped up and I just liked the lyrics.

  Those pictures are definitely awesome. I like those.

  And as far as the jealousy- I want to go to the classes for my own sanity. I have this irrational jealousy of Madeline that just will not go away and it’s annoying- to me! Then there’s my venomous hatred of the Cunt Rag which I should really work to resolve since that actually endangers my relationship with Jefferson more. So yeah. It’s more for me rather than how I feel about him or our relationship.

• By kansas, March 7, 2008 @ 10:38 pm

  you should really get that shot.

  kansas’s last blog post..pour some sugar on me…

• By Noelle, March 9, 2008 @ 9:17 am

  the school only uses the schools insurance…if they have the shot there and you get it..you hafta pay it out right

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