Comments on: So Much for Friends http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html Life, Love, Sex Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:48:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: A http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1779 A Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:43:30 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1779 Good evening, Coming from the perspective of some random guy online who read something, let me just say this: sex is unequivocally dangerous. Bruises and welts heal, herpes, well that stays with you. So, on a consequence level, sex filled with BDSM is not inherently more dangerous than “normal” sex. Sounds like you have a good friend that cares about you, you are lucky. A. Good evening,

Coming from the perspective of some random guy online who read something, let me just say this: sex is unequivocally dangerous. Bruises and welts heal, herpes, well that stays with you. So, on a consequence level, sex filled with BDSM is not inherently more dangerous than “normal” sex.

Sounds like you have a good friend that cares about you, you are lucky.

A.

]]> By: Horatio http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1778 Horatio Fri, 27 Jul 2007 00:57:37 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1778 You both think you wont know what to say because behind a keyboard or cellphone is not reality. If you are true friends in real life when you meet face to face the discussion will probably start slowly and then the momentum of the conversation will increase. They great thing about face to face is no one needs to know what is said on a blog if you both choose not to share it. The internet while a wonderous device, it tends to cause social retardation because we forget humans are social animals. Again do a face to face at a coffee shop and go for a walk and by the end of the talk I am willing to bet as ari from entourage says... you will be hugging it out. Good Luck! You both think you wont know what to say because behind a keyboard or cellphone is not reality.

If you are true friends in real life when you meet face to face the discussion will probably start slowly and then the momentum of the conversation will increase.

They great thing about face to face is no one needs to know what is said on a blog if you both choose not to share it.

The internet while a wonderous device, it tends to cause social retardation because we forget humans are social animals. Again do a face to face at a coffee shop and go for a walk and by the end of the talk I am willing to bet as ari from entourage says… you will be hugging it out.

Good Luck!

]]> By: Avah http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1771 Avah Thu, 26 Jul 2007 23:52:58 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1771 Maybe you are concerned, but what you wrote is nothing but judgment. And I wouldn't know what to say either. Maybe you are concerned, but what you wrote is nothing but judgment.

And I wouldn’t know what to say either.

]]> By: Charles http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1772 Charles Thu, 26 Jul 2007 23:04:59 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1772 What you wrote is so beyond my limits that I can't even understand the 'why'. It is still your choice and is what you want/need. I lost a friend because I decided I knew what was best for them -- instead of supporting them. I regret it to this day (and this was 20+ years ago). Your friend should be concerned and should let you know so, but it should not endanger your friendship. Best wishes to both of you! What you wrote is so beyond my limits that I can’t even understand the ‘why’. It is still your choice and is what you want/need. I lost a friend because I decided I knew what was best for them — instead of supporting them. I regret it to this day (and this was 20+ years ago). Your friend should be concerned and should let you know so, but it should not endanger your friendship. Best wishes to both of you!

]]> By: Wendy http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1770 Wendy Thu, 26 Jul 2007 21:03:40 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1770 Now now IgnoreThoseKids - I think there are BFF's. I have two BFF's, who live cross country at the moment. One, I've known for over 15 years now, the other almost 10, no signs of stopping. Now now IgnoreThoseKids - I think there are BFF’s. I have two BFF’s, who live cross country at the moment. One, I’ve known for over 15 years now, the other almost 10, no signs of stopping.

]]> By: Noelle* http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1769 Noelle* Thu, 26 Jul 2007 16:51:07 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1769 <p>I like the way Horatio is thinking; although I wouldn't even know how to start talking..</p> <p>I'm concerned, that's all</p> <p>and no, I don't want to stop being your friend</p> I like the way Horatio is thinking; although I wouldn’t even know how to start talking..

I’m concerned, that’s all

and no, I don’t want to stop being your friend

]]> By: IgnoreThoseKids http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1768 IgnoreThoseKids Thu, 26 Jul 2007 16:45:28 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1768 I don't mean to get all oldster-imparting-wisdom-on-the-youngster here, but things you might want to ponder: 1. Is it reasonable to have all of your friends be exposed to all of your life, or it is ok to compartmentalized? 2. By listing out these details, were you testing her? What did you expect to happen? Is that different than what you wanted to happen? 3. What is more important to you, having a specific individual be your friend, or having yourself be 100% exposed to everyone? Friendship is voluntary. There is no BFF. I don’t mean to get all oldster-imparting-wisdom-on-the-youngster here, but things you might want to ponder:

1. Is it reasonable to have all of your friends be exposed to all of your life, or it is ok to compartmentalized?

2. By listing out these details, were you testing her? What did you expect to happen? Is that different than what you wanted to happen?

3. What is more important to you, having a specific individual be your friend, or having yourself be 100% exposed to everyone?

Friendship is voluntary. There is no BFF.

]]> By: Horatio http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1767 Horatio Thu, 26 Jul 2007 16:00:41 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1767 Maybe a face to face conversation with your friend is best. Text, phone, instant message... All garbage. You need to look at each other eye to eye. Your friend may want to discuss her thoughts feelings as a friend in person. For you both to be having a virtual catfight here is not productive for either you. Maybe a face to face conversation with your friend is best.

Text, phone, instant message…
All garbage.
You need to look at each other eye to eye. Your friend may want to discuss her thoughts feelings as a friend in person.

For you both to be having a virtual catfight here is not productive for either you.

]]> By: karen http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1766 karen Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:56:18 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1766 It is sad really. But if you can't respect and/or understand one another's decisions, then it is better to move on. I beleive that a person should be proud of whatever they chose to do with their life. But at the same time, you have to deal with consequences of your choices....and sometimes that means losing people who love you. I wish you both the best and I hope you can come to a mutual peace. It is sad really. But if you can’t respect and/or understand one another’s decisions, then it is better to move on. I beleive that a person should be proud of whatever they chose to do with their life. But at the same time, you have to deal with consequences of your choices….and sometimes that means losing people who love you.

I wish you both the best and I hope you can come to a mutual peace.

]]> By: Avah http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1763 Avah Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:55:13 +0000 http://designingintimacy.com/2007/07/so-much-for-friends.html#comment-1763 You haven't responded to my text yet- are we not friends now? You haven’t responded to my text yet- are we not friends now?

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