Comments on: Celia Says; and Dream

By: Wendy

Wendy — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 17:41:24 +0000

Anon, Its very easy to hate someone you never even met. When Jordin cheated on me with that bitch Tiffany, I hated her was a passion bordering on insanity. I hated him too, but I felt like he was a weak, stupid man who fell off the long distance relationship wagon. I hated her coz she knew about me, knew we were dating, and went after him anyway. Also, she was younger, skinnier and closer to him than me.
When we did eventually meet, which he sprung on us out of the blue, we were hissing and spitting at each other, not him. Love makes you stupid sometimes.

By: anon

anon — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 13:09:42 +0000

I have a lot of sympathy for you because I’ve been reading you for a while now although I haven’t commented. I admit I only know what you choose to show us. So please take this comment in the spirit it is meant. It’s meant to be helpful and not hurtful. I’m a woman and I was in a poly relationship and I feel like I really understand so much of what you are going through.

I don’t know what these women might have done to harm you. Maybe there’s stuff you haven’t posted. But don’t you think it’s wrong to blame the other women when the man we love lets us down? Even if we’re in a traditional relationship and he cheats we know that our anger at her is really anger at him. I respect your rage and your grief but I think maybe you’re putting it in the wrong direction. I am confused and I can’t understand how you could hate Madeline when you admit you had never even met her. I always assumed that you had met her from the way you wrote.

I hope you find someone wonderful who gives you everything you deserve and want. Keep writing!

By: Celia

Celia — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 09:38:48 +0000

Just a Thought-

Good point. If a person were a self-proclaimed slut, then all of these relationship/poly entaglements and headaches are avoided. Simply by preferring to use one word instead of another. In which case…bravo! He’s avoided the need to buy stock in Bayer.

But what if a Slut utters that one little four letter word? Now, IMO, that’s when the line between Slut and Poly disappears.

Am I totally off the mark? Possibly, hell, probably. But, it is something for the Slut’s of the world to consider before dropping that dirty little word in their partner’s laps.

By: Avah

Avah — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:51:11 +0000

My first instinct is to say no, Viviane, because you really have no control who links to you (and God that's really so dumb to even care). My 2nd instinct is: well of course I don't actually want you on my blog roll (I hate you that much), but people that I like and respect also contribute to the site.

Of course I should be the mature one (seeing that I'm like 30 years your junior) and not get into an online pissing match with someone who goes through life like they're on a 6th grade play ground (but damn I love a good pissing match).

But ultimately, no, I'll link to whomever I want to link to thank you very much.

By: Horatio

Horatio — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:58:47 +0000

I have been reading quite a few of the participants blogs for a while.

Just a opinion or POV if you will.

I am in a relationship with two women currently. It evolved by me being involved with one woman first and we decided together to bring another woman into our bed.

Now since it was a mutual decision we all share in the joy of spending time together. Do I get together with one when the other is not available, sure. Do they get together when I am out of town on business? Sure.
Jealousy? Nope. Because the decision was made together and trust and most importantly consideration was established.

It seems like your feelings were not taken into consideration in this relationship. If your feelings are not being considered in my opinion you are not in a relationship. You are a receptacle.
You can dress it up in rope and twine and leather but you are still just a container and no person should be subject to that.

Take this as a learning event that will make you stronger, perhaps a little bit jaded for a short time and your next relationship will flourish.

Good Luck!

By: Joy

Joy — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:30:28 +0000

Amen to Josh’s comment about different ways of “doing” poly. Admittedly, I’m *not* poly at this point in time, but it’s a hugely compelling arrangement to me…at least, the way I’d do it. Which is much more along Josh’s lines than along Jefferson’s (as much fun as it is to read about orgies and casual sex…I don’t think my psyche would put up with it). I have seen poly relationships work, and when they work it is because of the mutual respect and honesty and communication that exists between the partners. But it’s hard. It really is. As the others have said, do what’s right for you.

By: Viviane

Viviane — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 21:21:42 +0000

Plese take me off your blogroll.

By: Just a thought...

Just a thought... — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 20:40:20 +0000

I think Jefferson might clarify and say he prefers to call himself a Slut rather then Poly, specificly due to what Poly implies and brings with it.

By: Josh

Josh — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 20:07:15 +0000

You know, not *everyone* does poly the way Jefferson does. I certainly don’t. If a person I’m seeing doesn’t get along with someone who’s a primary partner, or oven someone I spend a significant amount of time with, it’s a problem, and I deal with it, because if I don’t it’s obvious drama is going to happen.

Honestly, I’m not sure that you (Avah) are cut out for being poly at this point in your life. I think you might want to consider someone who’ll take a good amount of their time and be able to focus it on you, because you’re a good person, and you deserve it.

In the meanwhile, (IMO, not like you have to listen, but it’s advice) de-stress and enjoy yourself. Focus on what makes you calm and happy. Work on your sense of self worth outside of a relationship with him.

By: Celia

Celia — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 17:23:51 +0000

Hmmm… had another few thoughts to share.
Though I do feel the need for a great big disclaimer before I write these things out. LOL Something along the lines of “I only fuck one guy, so you can toss my opinion out with that used condom over there.”

Anyway.

IMO, fucking J and uttering the L word takes a heap of responsibility and settles it squarely on your shoulders. He is poly, it is no secret that he fucks a gaggle of women. If that’s the case, when someone enters into any type of relationship with him, they need to be prepared to coexist peacefully with his other partners.

Does that mean you have to drop to your knees and lick the new girls pussy in welcome? No. What it should mean to every partner involved is that J has decided to open his life to this woman and for that reason alone, she deserves and should be right in expecting, a certain level of civility and respect.

There are so many women (at least it appears that way) that they can’t ALL be expected to get along and be best buds. But come on! Not friending someone on myspace? What-ever. Grow up. You are a grown up, are you not? Obviously you’ve reached adulthood as determined by our government otherwise you wouldn’t be in J’s bed.

Poly relationships seem to be a lesson in juggling for all partners and while I agree that the female (and occasional) male participants in J’s relationships need to re-evaluate their behavior and status as one of his girl/boyfriends, I think J also needs to realize that just perhaps he is NOT the best juggler in town. Fucker and cock sucker… maybe. Juggler… not from what I’ve read.

PS. Disclaimer once again for those that skipped it: I don’t know you, you don’t know me. What I do know is what I read and these opinions have been formed from what is made available to the general public for consumption.